Equivocation, Installment 1

In college and in New York City, the theatre stereotype was always easy, right?  Most male actors were gay.  Sure there were the straight ones, but if you found youself guessing, you would err on the side of gay.  Of course there are always exceptions to the rule (one of them is the nicest exception I’ve ever found) but I don’t think too many people would argue with me here.**

**Actually suddenly all I can remember are the straight guys in the Davis theatre department.  But I know there were un-straight ones too.

In rehearsals for Equivocation, I’m finding myself faced with 5 male actors, and I’m having to drastically and somewhat ashamedly reassess.  In the first 3 days being in the room with the actors, I have learned that 3 of them have children, 2 of those 3 are married, and 1 of them just recently had his heart broken by a long-term girlfriend (aww…).  That leaves 1 actor who I still don’t know about (not that I have to know) and I’m too ashamed to hazard a guess here.

Besides, I’ve discovered the new actor stereotype: the green domestic who’s a healthy and conscious eater.

Of the 5 men, 3 of them have arrived at rehearsal with loaves of wheat bread, jars of peanut butter and preserves (not jelly, what are we, 5 years old?), mayonnaise and mustard and fixins.  Bunches of bananas and individual serving cups of fruit cocktail.  On even the shortest 10 minute break they race to the kitchen to make open-face sandwiches and mugs of tea.  The men gather in the concessions area and share peanut buttery knives and talk about Tupperware carousels and diaper genies.  Composting methods and child discipline.  Today I heard them discussing high fructose corn syrup and one was literally (but I think unconsciously) quoting the commercial: “It’s natural, made from corn, has the same properties as sugar and is fine in moderation.”  Earlier this morning they were bragging about how little garbage they produce: one said his household puts out one bag of trash per week, and the rest of their waste is recycled or composted.  Another admitted his household put out a couple bags per week, but “we have two kids.”

And then there’s me.  For lunch I had half a store-bought mac and cheese, a Yoplait, and a Coke Zero Vanilla.  And a Kit Kat.  I use lots of paper towels – washing my hands, cleaning, making paper cranes.  We probably take out a bag of trash every other day and while we do recycle, we do not (currently) compost.  Sometimes I leave the water running while I brush my teeth.  I don’t carpool.  (How far should this list of faults go here?)  I drink too much Diet Coke and not nearly enough water.  I leave my phone charger always plugged in.  My car might be due an oil change.  When I said I had a Kit Kat for lunch, it might have been 2 Kit Kats.  But they were small.

Coming up soon: A list of Good Things I Do.

I guess my point is that I think it’s kind of endearing – these men coming in carrying grocery sacks and telling stories about their 4-year-olds.  I’m going to hold on to this as long as I can because I think as we get closer to opening, they might get less endearing.  For now though I’ll eavesdrop on their stories and share their strawberries when they offer them to me, and I will never, ever, talk business to them while they’re on a break.