Need to kill some time? I wrote this. You can read it and praise me.
TUMBLE DRY LOW
Setting: A laundry room in an apartment building. Anna’s clothes are in the dryer. She is reading a book. Robin comes in and throws her clothes into a washer, sits down. She watches Anna’s clothes for a minute.
Robin: Almost dry.
Anna: What?
Robin: Your clothes are almost dry. You know, they look pretty fluffy. Not like when you first put them in, and they’re all wet and heavy and stick together in a big wet heavy pile.
Anna: Yeah, they’re almost dry. (Tries to go back to her book.)
Robin: (Sighs) That must be nice, to have your laundry almost done. I hate doing laundry. (Pats her laundry hamper.) I wish this was over, already! What’s your least favorite household chore?
Anna: Um…sweeping, I think.
Robin: Oh yeah, and none of these apartment buildings have any carpeting.
Anna: Uh, nope.
Robin: I want to lay down rugs everywhere, but you know, rugs… (Shrugs) They’re pretty expensive.
Anna: That they are. (Tries to go back to her book.)
Robin: What are you reading?
Anna: Um…The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova.
Robin: Cool. What’s it about?
Anna: I’m not really sure yet…I just started it. I think it’s kind of about a big mystery, and Vlad the Impaler, and, um (waves hand) some other stuff.
Robin: Is it good?
Anna: Um…so far.
Robin: Cool.
(Anna nods. She hates the way people say “cool” all the time when they have nothing else to say. She reads for about 6 seconds. Shayna comes in with a bag of laundry.)
Shayna: Oh hey…Robin, right? (Robin nods) – Oh man, are all the washers taken?
Robin: Yeah, I just got the last one. Sorry. It’ll be done in 28 minutes.
Shayna: That’s cool, I’ll wait. You’re Anna, right?
(Anna doesn’t really want to look up, but does anyway and nods.)
Shayna: I’m Shayna. You’re across the hall from me…4B, right? Your husband helped me out last week when my key got stuck. Man, I thought I was going to miss the train, and then be late for work! I was so worried. I guess it just took some man power…you know what I mean?
Robin: Sure do.
Anna: (Smiles weakly.) I’ll tell Joel you said thanks.
Shayna: Yeah. What are you reading?
Anna: Um…The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova.
Robin: She says it’s about Vlad the Impaler.
Shayna: Cool. Who’s that?
Robin: I don’t know.
Anna: (Reluctantly) He’s the guy that the Dracula stories are based on.
From the 15th century. He terrorized the Ottoman Empire.
When the Turks finally killed him, they preserved his head in a jar of honey and it was displayed in Constantinople.
Shayna: Cool. Are you into history and stuff like that?
4 replies on “Tumble Dry Low”
Brilliant! Based on a true story?
Well, I have done laundry…
This is fantastic! And you quoted one of our text message conversations!!!
Right! Did I get you to sign a waiver?