Author: sychela

Categories
"Other people" cars Children Memoir Nature Not awesome

Whining on Board

Dear people on the internet,

Why do you take such offense against these little yellow Baby on Board stickers that hang in car windows?

I mean, I kind of get it. I used to be one of you. I assumed that the sticker was there as a way to tell me to slow down and drive more carefully around the baby. I thought that was the equivalent of a mom shushing me in a public area where I should be allowed to talk freely, just because her child was sleeping. (In both cases, I should probably just restrain myself a little better. But also in both cases, I disliked having a stern stranger tell me what to do.)

Here’s a little story: once in high school, I was driving from Lakeport over to Fort Bragg. Between Willits and Fort Bragg is a 30-mile stretch of winding road through the trees – it’s gorgeous, but it’s one lane, with a single passing lane available about 10 miles in from the coast. There are plenty of places to pull over and let someone pass you, though.

Photo from http://www.trazzler.com

I was stuck behind a car rattling along with a Baby on Board sticker. This car would not pull over, no matter that it had been nearly 20 miles, which was unbearable to me, a teenager in a 2-door car with a stick shift. Finally we approached the passing lane, which incidentally was on an uphill stretch, and as I moved over to pass…the jalopy sped up! I barely made it past them, and then I continued on my way…at which point that car tailgated me for the remaining 10 miles of the trip.

I reached the coast and pulled into the parking lot of a grocery store…where the jalopy pulled up behind me, parking me in, and an irate woman got out and began yelling at me about “almost running her off the road” and how she had “a baby in the backseat.” All I could do was stand there in shock (I have never been good at confrontation) – but what I wanted to snap back was that she had plenty of chances to let me pass, she didn’t have to speed up while I was passing her, and she certainly didn’t have to speed up in order to follow me the rest of the way.

So. She was crazy, and should not have behaved that way. Because of her I am now totally paranoid about being followed and trapped in a parking lot, and I always have a contingency plan if I think someone is tailing me.

But, here’s what I started out to say. I realized something, many years later.

The Baby on Board sticker is not there to tell you what to do: it’s just to alert you, the other driver, that the car with the baby is likely to drive slower, more cautiously, and to view yellow lights as “stop now” signals rather than “go very fast.” So if you need to adjust for that, then feel free. I’ll be here, in the right hand lane, signaling carefully and going the speed limit.

Hope this helps, whiny people on the internet!

Categories
Being a girl Exercise Memoir Nonfiction Self improvement

A letter to High School Me

If I could go back in time and tell High School Me one thing…

www.westwood.k12.ma.us

…it would be to take advantage of Phys Ed.

I would rejoice if, at this point in my life, there was an hour of every weekday set aside for exercise, complete with someone shaking it up every few weeks and introducing a new unit (archery, then softball, then tennis, then weight lifting). This would happen at the same time every day, preferably in the morning before the rest of my classes– I mean, before work. A relative stranger would intimidate me through warm-ups of jumping jacks and crunches. I would have very little excuse or reason not to go, because at the end of the year I would get a grade, based not on my physical fitness, but on how hard I tried this year.

And in high school, we took all this for granted. We cheated our way through running the mile, and we opted to play badminton (or even ping pong!) instead of tennis because, let’s face it, a bunch of people trying not to move too much can play badminton pretty easily.

I mean, all the other mistakes I made and stupid things I did in those four years don’t really matter. You know, they shape the person you become, etc etc. I didn’t make any mistakes that ruined my life or anyone else’s (as far as I know). But it might have been really useful if someone had just enlightened me as to the fact that one day, I would pay a monthly gym membership for the chance to run on a treadmill and lift weights. And maybe that same person could point out to me the comparisons between a gym membership, and a Phys Ed class.

Categories
Beginnings Drew Home improvements Pregnancy Sentiment

Cribs

We keep telling ourselves we have plenty of time to get everything ready for this baby, and that’s kind of true. But we had our crib just sitting around in the box, so today we put it together.

Here’s the “before” shot:

This was an exciting moment – realizing we didn’t need any additional tools and that all the pieces are carefully sorted and labeled for you!

So step one is to…dump all the pieces out onto the ground in a pile. (Bonus points if the pieces are about the same color as the carpet.)

After a false start or two, we got our sea legs and things started coming together.

Love the finished product! We still have 80% of “nursery” stuff to go – including a crib mattress – but if the crib is the centerpiece, then we made some real headway today.

Categories
Beauty Drew Exercise Friends

Arthritis Walk for the Cure

I tried my hardest to update last night, but my computer was completely uncooperative, and so here we are.

Yesterday I was just going to say a little bit about cravings/aversions, because I think it’s kind of interesting. I haven’t had a lot of cravings, per se…I don’t think it’s fair to blame pregnancy for wanting milkshakes every other day (I do not automatically give into that “craving”), or for my current phase of eating tortilla chips and salsa every chance I get (delicious!). I also have been enjoying drinking water a lot more than I used to…can’t complain about that.

What I’ve seen more of is food aversions – things that I used to love that I can’t stand anymore. I really liked beets, but now they sound repulsive (the mix of vegetable matter and sweetness? or something?). I’ve been avoiding a lot of vegetables, actually, including broccoli and squash, both of which I used to like. I like carrots and peas, which are both fairly sweet, and I wonder if that has something to do with it? I’ve also been avoiding eggs in all forms, and roasted garlic, which I used to eat with a fork. I’ve been trying to make up for the lack of vegetables with fruits, and sneak vegetables in wherever I can.

This morning Drew and I got up early and went up to Crissy Field in San Francisco for the annual Arthritis Walk. We were on an 8-person team headed up by our bff Erin (who works at the Arthritis Foundation), and I believe our team raised about $1200.

It was a totally beautiful day for walking around by the water, and before the walk started there was time to hang out, get some breakfast, and even check out the various entertainment…like this awesome marching band!

I’m not sure what you call a band that is just marching in place…but later they marched to start the actual walk.

At this point I stopped taking pictures, but Erin was enlisted by her work to run around and take photos of everything. It was a great way to start the morning!

Categories
"Other people" Being a girl Dollars Memoir My name

Change is inevitable

Among my habits that annoy Drew, “saving” is probably pretty high up there. I “save” all kind of things. I save up recycling rather than throwing it away, even though we don’t have a recycling dumpster at our new place. (C’mon… seriously? This is California!) I often have a box going for stuff (clothes, books, anything really) that I mean to take to Salvation Army or Goodwill…eventually.

And I have this irrational fondness for collecting coins for months in an old Nesquik container. Then one night, I dump them out on the carpet and watch TV and roll them into actual, exchangeable piles of money.

We had some rolled coins still sitting around from a few months ago, and then a bunch of new loose coins. So the other night, I flopped down on the carpet to roll the rest of them, and Drew sat down with me. I don’t know if he enjoys it at all, or if he just recognizes the value in turning this sort-of-forgotten money into bank-account money.

We ended up with $65 altogether – $10 in quarters, $10 in nickels, $10 in pennies (this is weird, right?), and $35 in dimes. That’s right. Those skinny little dimes, that I don’t always bother to pick up when they fall on the ground, added up to $35.

I took this Safeway bag full of money into the bank this morning, where shifty-eyed tellers immediately assessed my intentions and each tried to pass me off to the next person. The first guy said, “Tell you what we’re going to do, my coworker over there is going to help you because I have to…go do something.” (Seriously.) Then the girl he passed me off to said that her drawer wasn’t big enough for all of it, so I’d have to go over there. The third guy had been sneaking a look at a text message and so he didn’t have any excuse ready to go, and he wound up dealing with me.

But here’s what I want to know: is it so weird that I do this? I mean, it’s money. What am I supposed to do, go to a Coinstar and let them take almost 10% of it? That’s $6 saved right there.

And this is a bank. This is a branch of one of the biggest banks in America, and I’ve been a customer there for 10 years. So what if once a year I come in and make someone count rolls of change? It’s just counting. You learn that ish in elementary school.

To add insult to injury, the guy finished up our conversation by telling me how my name should be pronounced, which I’ve decided is one of the most annoying things that people persistently do. I don’t tell you that your name is spelled wrong, Kriss. So how about you give me my receipt for my $65, and let me get out of here.

Categories
Beginnings Being a girl Children Friends Love

Masterful suspense

My bff Liz, who is 19 weeks pregnant, is currently in the doctor’s office finding out whether she’s having a boy or a girl. All day long I’ve been getting texts and emails from her, saying “We find out today!!!” “3 more hours!!!” “An hour and 45 minutes!!!” etc.

My excitement is growing, even though technically whether she has a boy or a girl doesn’t affect me. Knowing that she is literally in the appointment right now is very suspenseful. She promised to call me immediately afterward, but I don’t know when that will be exactly…it could be in 10 minutes, it could be in 40 minutes. Appointments are weird.

She told me this morning to “call it” – to guess whether it’s a boy or a girl. I had to admit that I’ve been picturing her with a boy, although I don’t know why that is. A few months ago I was thinking that a girl would be more fun to shop for, but after spending time in baby stores and on baby websites, I now feel confident that there are adorable gifts to be had for babies of either sex.

I know that really, every parent just wants a healthy baby, and whether it’s a boy or a girl is of little consequence. I wonder though – if you really want a boy and it turns out to be a girl, is there more potential for (slight) disappointment in an ultrasound situation, as opposed to a delivery room reveal?

I guess this also leads me to think about loving your baby – when that shift happens. But that’s probably a completely different post.

Categories
Awesome Family Sentiment

Playing Favorites

Do you ever have conversations in your head with someone? The other day, Imaginary Drew was asking me which of my parents was my favorite. This may be an actual conversation that’s happened out loud at some point. I thought I would have an answer for Imaginary Drew (I don’t like getting into fake conversations when I don’t know exactly what my platform is), but it turned out I had no idea which is my favorite parent.

I thought I would have reasons for why I favor either parent in a certain situation, but I couldn’t even make that work. Really what it comes down to is that I adore both my parents and that has nothing to do with the scenario. I am equally happy whenever either of them picks up the phone. (And I am basically over the moon if they actually pick up the phone before the answering machines picks up.) When I’m home for the afternoon or the weekend, I prefer it if they stay in the same room so I can stay there with them – if they split up it gets complicated.

I have a vague memory of being a kid, and of having divvied them up, into the times of day I preferred each of them. (No offense, parents, this is a weird little kid memory, and I was probably hopped up on Ovaltine.) I think I remember, but I could be wrong, deciding with my brother that we liked playing games with my dad during the day, but my mom was better at tucking us in at night.** Does that even make sense now? I don’t know. Would Robb back me up? Probably not.

Once I’d realized that I really don’t have a favorite, I realized how lucky that is. Lots of people don’t even know one parent, some people hate one (or both) of their parents…and I get two parents. Still together after all these years, and still as interested in me as I am in them. (I presume.)

Imaginary Drew, by the way, agrees with me that it’s impossible to name one favorite parent. This is corroborated by Real Drew. And really, haven’t we totally beaten the odds? By having two sets of parents who are still happy together? I mean, what are the chances? Hashtag lucky!

**A memory: I went through this phase where I had this deep fear that the toilet seat would be left up and one of our cats would fall in. This horrified me, and every night I would have to ask the parent tucking me in to double check that the seat was down. But I was too embarrassed to say the word “toilet” (I had the weirdest, shyest neuroses) so we made a deal that I would just sign the word for toilet and they would double check. Such patience!

Categories
"Other people" Being a girl Home improvements Memoir

Missing: Very Small Reward

We cannot find our can opener. Despite the fact that we have TWO of them. Despite the fact that Drew swears he’s seen one of them somewhere in the new apartment since we moved in. But we seriously cannot find either. We have been through the entire apartment several times – usually every time we forget and buy non-pull-top cans at the grocery store – and still nothing.

What’s a girl to do? I mean, I have this Anderson’s pea soup, and I can’t touch it. That’s a tragedy right there.

I think I’m going to have to go buy a new one. As soon as I do that, both of the original ones will pop up again. Then we’ll have three, and this problem will never happen again.

Categories
Uncategorized

Words and waiting

All I can think about lately is how absent I’ve been. I have very few blog posts this month – I mean, I’m barely holding on to that “once a week” thing. I totally failed at Script Frenzy…oops. I had this New Year’s Resolution to write a newspaper article and a short story every month – which lasted January and February. I was flipping through a local community college’s summer catalog today, looking at the writing classes, but for some reason I can’t bring myself to pay hundreds of dollars for 3 units of community college credit that I don’t even know is going to be tailored to what I want.

But it’s not a good idea to broadcast your failure, so I won’t talk about all that. Instead, I’ll just give you some random things.

My book club’s next book, which we are meeting about on May 12th but which I just got on Friday, is called Straight: The Surprisingly Short History of Heterosexuality. This could either be really interesting, or really annoying. I will begin reading that later tonight, hopefully.

My friend Sam just went on a family trip to Japan and brought back this dragon for me and Drew.

Our baby will be born in the year of the Dragon, which I understand to be the best year. (I never paid any attention to these things when I was just a Rat.)

In general, pregnancy is going well. This week starts the fifth month, which is crazy to think about. If we were going to be finding out the sex, that would be around the corner. This weekend we went and worked on our registry, which was really fun, but much more complicated and time-consuming than registering for wedding gifts. Instead of just saying “I like this,” we have to say, “Which brand is better? What type of carrier do we want? Does this have good ratings?” It’s intimidating. But I had fun. And I definitely feel like we made some progress.

Next weekend, Drew, Erin, 5 other people, and I are walking as a team in the Arthritis Foundation’s big annual walk. It’s a 5K in San Francisco, and as a team we raised over $1000. I am very happy we reached our goal and looking forward to the walk (which we have talked about following up with burritos, to celebrate Cinco de Mayo…).

Today Erin, Sam, and I went and had lunch and got manicures in Burlingame. My nails are now bright blue (OPI’s “No Room for the Blues”). I like it, because it’s eye-catching, but it’s the first time since high school I’ve had nails this bright and unnatural. I always pick “light pink” or “sparkly pink” or “light sparkly pink.” This blue looks like candy and makes me feel very summery. Up next: pedicures to match!

Last year I made up this “Post a day May” thing for myself, and I’m going to do that again this year. Try to get myself back on track. I’ve just been kind of distracted lately. But I’ll make it up to you by writing a poem sometime in the next 5 weeks. Enjoy the suspense!

Categories
"Other people" Being a girl Theatre

The Art of Avoiding Eye Contact

Drew and I went to a show at a theatre company some time this weekend, and in the lobby I noticed someone with whom we are both familiar. Let’s call this person Pat. I said to Drew, “Hey, Pat’s over there,” and he said, “Did you say hi?” and I said, “No,” and he said, “I don’t need to say hi.”

Then we went and sat down, and after a minute he grabbed my arm and I intuited (from years of having things like this happen) that Pat was now behind us. About a minute before the show was about to start Pat crossed the theatre and I said, “Don’t worry, s/he can’t hurt you now.” But then Pat ran back over and sat down in Pat’s seat very near to where we were sitting.

At intermission we went and hung out outside (and chatted with the ASM on the show who is a friend of mine), and then we went back inside. I don’t know how, during all this, Pat and I never managed to make eye contact, but we didn’t. By the end of intermission when everyone was settled back in our seats I started pondering if Pat was also avoiding eye contact with us as much as we were with Pat.

The show ended, applause ensued, and we took off in order to try to get back through San Francisco on a Sunday night (rarely a small feat). I never said hi to Pat; Pat never said hi to us. For all I know, Pat has no idea we were there, breathing the same air. But I find it more likely that we were all in agreement that a hello wasn’t really necessary.

I guess that’s the world we live in now.