Categories
Sports Work

Love our patrons

Tonight at the theatre I overheard a patron telling his three friends this joke.

So these two guys are out on the golf course playing a skins game. [Note: in a skins game, the “winner” of each hole wins money. If two players are tied on a hole, the money doubles on the next hole.]They are at the last hole, and the winner will get like a hundred bucks.** It’s so exciting! The first guy lines up his shot, he’s got to make like a 5-foot putt to win the whole thing.

Just then, a hearse begins passing the golf course. The first guy steps away from the shot, takes off his hat and holds it over his heart, and waits while the hearse and all the funeral cars go by. Afterward, the second guy says, “That was a really great thing to do, very respectful,” and the first guy says, “Yeah, well, we were married for 30 years.”

LOL

**I tried to make the math work, but couldn’t. I thought about saying some mathematically-accurate number (“the winner will get like eighty bucks!”) but I opted not to. Well, I guess at this point I’ve split the difference and said too much about it.

Categories
Beauty Beginnings Dreams Memoir Nature Religion Sentiment

“No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace as I have seen in one autumnal face” – John Donne

I woke up this morning with my socked foot sticking out from under the covers. I felt very warm under the covers, and outside (while still the inside of my apartment) felt very brisk. This is the point at which I gave up and welcomed in fall.

It’s been feeling more and more autumny for days now – I can’t put my finger on what it is exactly. A smell? A certain snap to the air? Maybe the trees are changing colors and I just haven’t really been paying attention? Suddenly all I want to do is shop for new boots and sweaters. Not to mention school supplies…oh, the school supplies…

I can’t stop reminiscing, as of late. Mostly I’ve been thinking about being in high school. Which isn’t to say that I want to go back to high school. I mean, even the memories I’m getting trapped in are of being in bed when the alarm goes off, and it’s so early and dark out. It’s not particularly welcoming.

I will try to steer my thoughts toward fall in college – with its classes that start later. (Remember when we were all in high school and we would get up at like 6:00 to go to zero period? And it’s just what you did? That ish is crazy.) College is good fall memories. I’ll have to buy some strawberry conditioner (works every time) and a pumpkin pie spice candle.

Or I can think about being in New York – working at the haunted house in October (October is even the coolest word!), and everything gets windy, but not cold yet, and leaves are everywhere, and you’re just so freaking happy that it’s not summer anymore. The landlord turns your heat on for the first time in 6 months… Everything is burgundy and burnt orange and brown. I mean the clothes, of course.

I’m really looking forward to the fact that this show and the next show we’re doing are in Mountain View. Downtown Mountain View in the fall is pretty darn perfect. Again with the leaves and the wind. And soon it’ll be Halloween. I don’t like dressing up for Halloween, but I love every other single thing about it.

I will bemoan one more time the fact that, living where we do, we don’t really get seasons. This just means I’ll have to be sure to go to Lake County this fall to enjoy it. And take advantage of every second I’m down at work.

I love spring and I love summer and I even love winter, but above all else, man I love the fall.

Categories
Awesome Beauty cars Sentiment

Golden Gate Bridge pictures

On our way home from Labor Day dinner with my family in Santa Rosa…we stopped to check out the Golden Gate Bridge from high up.

Everyone else had had the same idea, so we had to pass the first two vista points and stop at the third, which is a little further away and so the point is slightly less vista. But that’s okay!

Then we got back into the long line of cars to drive slooooowly over the bridge.

Long live San Francisco!

Categories
Drew Sleep talking

#SleepTalking #BornIn1983

Last night Drew fell asleep while I started rereading The Hunger Games.

After about half an hour, I switched off the light, which startled/terrified him, after which, he told me:

Drew: I would have killed myself.
Me: No…don’t kill yourself.
Drew: If I’d been in the a’s.
Me: The what? (Thinking, “the baseball team?”)
Drew: The 80s. I’d be so scared. Things just happen, and then (muffled, muffled, muffled) and you just do.

Categories
Drew Family Love Theatre Work

It would probably cut back on my Starbucks habit.

At work we recently hired this woman, who everyone agrees rocks. She happens to be (newly) married to a guy who also works in our office, and who also rocks. Yesterday as I was parking, they pulled up across from me and parked. And I sat there with my head cocked, thinking about what it would be like to work right down the hall from your spouse.

I guess it would be fun…? But, on the downside, I feel like it would also be an infringement on personal space. What if you’re having one of those days where you’re annoyed by everything and everyone? Do you have to hide it from them? What if you have some story of work confrontation – but rather than going home and telling it, clearly skewed so you are the victim/victor, your spouse knows the whole thing because it’s their co-worker than locked horns with you?

On the upside, carpooling. So…there’s that.

Speaking of working with your spouse, two of my Facebook friends, who happen to be married to each other, are working on a show somewhere. She is directing and he is acting in it. He keeps posting things about how awesome of a director she is. That’s sweet, but also makes me cringe. Too close. Too much interaction. What if you were bickering on the way to rehearsal, and now you have to direct how your spouse is supposed to be acting with their play-spouse? I don’t know, man.

I guess that is extra cringey for me because I have residual trauma regarding directing. When I think about it, but put myself in a stage manager role instead of a director role, it’s not that bad. I guess I could do that.

Thoughts? Working with your spouse? My parents have been teachers in the same district forever, but at least they’re at different schools…sometimes.

Categories
Awesome Endings Memoir Sentiment Technology Writing

My Relationship Status: “It’s Complicated” With “Technology”

I might hate CDs. I feel like they multiply, and they are everywhere in our apartment. But when do I play CDs? Occasionally, in the car. But why play a CD when I have all my music on my ipod? The CD in my car player right now is disc 1 of the PBS “Broadway – The American Musical” 5-disc series. It’s been there for months. I never listen to it. Not sure why I even picked disc 1 and stuck it in there. I should switch to a different one. (For a full listing of all the songs on each disc, click here.)

The down side of going through all your childhood stuff is that, if you’re a child of the same time period that I am, you have collected a lot of CDs. A lot of factory CDs, but also, a lot of CDs with unfamiliar handwriting – The Rocky Horror Show, or Poe’s Haunted, or even non-music CDs, like Mario’s Into The Woods Pics. It’s actually a relief when I flip a disc over and discover that it’s scratched beyond repair, and I can just toss it. Otherwise, I have to sit and think about whether I need a CD version of Poe’s Haunted, when I have the entire thing in digital form.

When I Google “recycled CDs,” I find this website telling me ways I can use old CDs for fun crafts. Here is an excerpt from that site:

Others have used old CDs to make disco balls, sun catchers, wreaths, mosaics, mobiles, party invitations and even bird treats — just coat the disc with peanut butter or bacon grease, dip it in bird seed, attach it to a tree with yarn and watch the birds flock to your yard.

Um, yuck. For some reason, the idea of using a CD for a bird feeder – covered in bacon grease, no less! – just grosses me out. What’s wrong with the good old-fashioned bird feeder, using a pine cone coated in peanut butter and seed?

Anyway. For now I’ve just been kind of stockpiling the CDs that I can’t bring myself to throw away, and chucking the ones that I can justify.

Future generations: You are so lucky (or, potentially, so unlucky in some way that I can’t even fathom) to have everything be digital. It’s so much easier, and you don’t constantly feel like you’re being wasteful. Although it makes me nervous to have everything just be floating around in cyberspace, I can usually tamp down the urge to print out everything and store it in a box for 12 years.

In a crossword puzzle yesterday, a clue was “a button on a cassette player” and the answer was “rewind.” Do you even know what that means, people who were born after 1995?? (A coworker suggested we call them “Generation Text.”)

PS. This is even crazier – I found this:


If I hadn’t already found the bound paper version of this Nanowrimo, that I had printed at Kinko’s back in 2003 (before it was Kinko’s/FedEx), the discovery of this floppy disk would have thrilled me, while also panicking me, as I have no idea where I could even put this thing.

As it is, I tossed it in the trash as well.

So long, past.

Categories
Being a girl Drew Memoir My name Sentiment

Inspiration

Late at night is when I get my bursts of inspiration for cleaning. Tonight I went through two boxes of stuff my parents gifted me with months ago…and pared it down to the throwaways, the donatables, and the keepsies.

Example throwaway: notebooks from college classes filled with notes about the Puritans and protest theatre. (Two different classes.) Nothing really of note to keep here. Although Drew pointed out my copious margin notes: “Syche + Drew” and then one page where I apparently decided to practice signing my first name with his last name. As we pondered this, I said, “Whoops!” and he said “GAWD, you’re obsessed with me or something.”

Example donatable: Pretty tin box, that I remember always having, but don’t have any specific attachment to, and which I will be much happier giving away than moving two more times.

Example keepsie: A diary I kept around the time I was 5 and 6. My bffk (best friend for kindergarten) (well, sort of…I mean I guess she was my best girl friend, but I’d still say my two best bffks were boys) actually went through and wrote “I love Kelly” on most of the pages (she’s Kelly), but some of the pages still have my original journal entries. I present you with two of them:

If I'm being completely honest, these are still my top three fears.

And from later…I would say around 4th or 5th grade:

B) and C) don't really matter. Amirite, girls?

That being said, today I tried out a set of hot rollers that a friend gave me, and they worked great! And I spent much time looking in the mirror and admiring my pretty hair, and taking pictures of myself. So don’t worry about me, I’ve got plenty of self-confidence now. A generous amount. Maybe even too much?

Ah, the joys of being a girl. :/

Categories
Books Drew Sleep talking

Sleep talking, new and improved! Now with sleep-picking-up!

This happens out of nowhere:

Drew: Where?
Me: What?

Drew sits up and picks up Practical Magic off of my bookshelf.

Drew: Should I have been saving the other letters?
Me: What letters?
Drew: From…never mind.

Drew puts down Practical Magic and lies back down.

Drew: It’s not real anyway.

Categories
Nonfiction

Weather we like it or not

I live a Jekyll and Hyde type of life: working down the peninsula in the heat and sun, and then coming home to the thick fog and thicker socks. It gets confusing – especially when my cute work outfit looks ridiculous on the walk from the car into my apartment. I mean, I like it – it’s like the best of both worlds.

I can also be a little moody, so I guess the Jekyll and Hyde applies in that way, too.

But that’s probably where the metaphor ends.

Categories
"Other people" Awesome Memoir Tomato Work

New York’s Weirdest Habit, And My Special Spinach Salad

Tonight was kind of a frustrating night at work. It had nothing to do with my own co-workers, for which I am grateful. However, it does have to do with people I have to interact with on a regular basis, so some of these issues will come up again. And probably again.

But, it’s come to my attention over and over again lately that I can’t really keep any secrets in this forum. That’s partly because I keep linking my name with this blog. So I guess it’s my fault. This is about 90% blessing and 10% curse. Sometimes I wish I could just bitch about something or someone – but I can’t.

That being said, in 2007 I worked at this deli-type place in New York. Every week we had a “special” salad, and one week, I convinced the owner to name the special after me! Here’s proof:

Anyway, I worked as a cashier, and took orders over the phone. It was often an annoying job. Also, it was way less fulfilling than my job now. Except I did get free food everyday. And I often took extra food home for Drew. We didn’t pay for very much food during the 8 months I worked there.

One day I made a list of all the things customers did at the register that drove me crazy. I have carried that list around – inexplicably – for 4 years. Since I can’t very well talk about all the things that frustrate me now, here is a list of annoying things that customers used to do.

  • Leaving trash on the counter for me to throw away
  • Setting things down and then going to get more stuff – especially when there’s a line behind them
  • Waiting until I’ve bagged all their food to say they want to stay
  • Wanting me to bag their drinks*
  • When I say “Is that all?” and they say “Yes. And also…”
  • Digging for change while I wait, and then they don’t have any change
  • A guy who only has a $5 bill out to pay for a tuna sandwich (it’s $5.75 before tax)
  • Paying with a credit card for a small soup**
  • Talking on their cell phone, then acting all “why are you interrupting my call?” when I try to talk to them
  • People asking for stupid things (forks, napkins, etc)***
  • Handing me money all folded up
  • Throwing their money on the counter
  • Giving me awkward change (like if their total is $11.65, and they give me $20.05, so their change is $8.40 – fail)
  • Looking pained while doing any of the above

*This still baffles me. The weirdest New York thing I discovered, was that they put your drinks into a bag for you. Not just your bottle of Snapple – but your coffee in a styrofoam cup, or your fountain diet Coke. Drew and I discovered this in Brooklyn, when one day out of desperation for normalcy we walked about 40 blocks to the closest McDonalds, and the bored cashier put our Sprites into a bag and handed them to us. We were all like, WTF is that about? But they do it there all the time! It’s so weird! Please don’t put my coffee into a bag – if it’s too hot to carry I’ll take a sleeve or a double cup…

**I am guilty of doing this now. So I can’t really complain anymore.

***I’m not sure what this is supposed to mean. In retrospect, it’s okay if they ask for forks. I think it’s stupid because they just watched me put a fork and napkins into their bag.

There. I feel better. /rant