Category: Memoir

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"Other people" Being a girl Friends Memoir Self improvement Technology

Facebook, right ahead!

First, I’d like to mention that Titanic is out in theatres again and I’m pretty psyched. I kind of really want to go see it. Titanic is an awesome movie, and I only hope that they didn’t ruin it by putting it in 3D.

Seriously. I just googled “Titanic screen shots” to find something appropriate, and every single picture made me think, “Oh, I love that part of the movie!” If you haven’t seen it lately (like, since it came out in the mid-90s) you should definitely check it out now.

In other news, I’ve been thinking a lot about what will happen on Sunday. Sunday is Easter. Easter means a lot of things to me, and I like it a lot. But this year specifically, Easter means my return to Facebook. And I’m no longer sure how I feel about that.

This morning on Sarah and Vinnie, Vinnie said:

“People say ‘That’s not real life.’ But Facebook IS real life. That’s where real life is happening. Every day I see people run to Facebook to post something important about their life. Or not important.”

Very apropos, since I’ve been thinking about how to handle this return to “real life.” I might have to do this in a list format.

On the one hand: I am starting to not miss it. I definitely don’t miss getting irritated by updates from people I don’t like. And I don’t miss having to keep up with everything that everyone posts.

On the other hand: It is a great way to keep in touch with people I don’t regularly speak with. Like far-flung cousins or old family friends. Also, sometimes we use it for work purposes.

On the other hand: I am enjoying the ignorance of not knowing certain things.

On the other hand: I don’t want to be “that guy” who has to tell everyone, “Oh, I don’t have a Facebook.” What’s next? “I don’t have a TV” or “I don’t have a cell phone”? (No, never either of those things.)

On the other hand: What if I have some piece of critical information to share? Drew and I are currently moving into a new apartment. It’s kind of exciting. But how is anyone going to know that without Facebook?

On the other hand: Who needs to know about that? Besides people who will come visit, who will probably ask me for the address beforehand?

On the other hand: Okay, so what if I had some other kind of news to share? And rather than sending mass emails or trying to text everyone, I just want to drop one Facebook post and be done with it?

On the other hand: Would I not be doing that just to get attention? And I certainly don’t want to go back to pandering for likes or comments. Also, isn’t that kind of why I have  a blog?

So, I guess I haven’t really decided anything. Except that I need to figure out when I can go see Titanic.

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Drew Love Memoir Sleep talking

Sleep talking 19

Drew: Look, what did you say?
Me: Nothing.
Drew: Look…What?
Me: No one said anything.
Drew: Okay.
Me: I didn’t say anything.
Drew: Okay.
Me: You’re crazy.
Drew: Okay.

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Being a girl Drew Memoir Travel Work

“Will Work In Seattle”

As I mentioned, this weekend I was at an arts marketing conference with NAMT (National Alliance for Musical Theatre) in beautiful Seattle, Washington. It was gray when we arrived, and yet within 2 hours of being there, 3 separate native Seattlites (that must be what they’re called, right?) had commented about how great the weather was. On Friday and Saturday it was actually pretty clear and nice, for which I say to you, Seattle, YOU’RE WELCOME for bringing up the California weather, and leaving the Bay Area in rain.

I thought I would make some lists about this weekend, since I love making lists.

Things I learned at the conference

  • Doing post-show audience surveys (every show, every audience member) is very useful
  • Lots of theatres in NAMT are not non-profit (we are)
  • We should allow patrons to take their drinks into the theatre
  • People are greatly divided on “tweet seats” (I’m on the “opposed” side)
  • Lots of people get around discounting by raising the ticket price, and then cutting it in half, but really it ends up being about the same cost that it was originally – tricky!
  • Some people think you should give your patrons special treatment, not if they’ve been just a long-time subscriber, but you should use a more “What have you done for me lately?” approach

Awesome shows I saw

  • First Date – a new one-act musical, a co-production between ACT and 5th Avenue Theatre (loved it!)
  • It Shoulda Been You – a musical comedy at the Village Theatre, with a major twist right before intermission

How much I overpacked

  • Two tank tops (even though I used four, or something…that is definitely classic overpacking)
  • One work top
  • One long-sleeved non-work top
  • Two pair of socks
  • One pair of underwear (that’s technically not overpacking, that’s just good planning)
  • One book (I finished The Night Circus, read about 100 pages of The White Castle, but didn’t crack open Bright Lights, Big City yet)

What I missed about California

  • My own bed (well…sort of my own bed)
  • My own toiletries (the hotel stuff was all lemon-sage-scented, which is fine, but isn’t really my style…and there’s never enough conditioner, am I right?)
  • Wireless internet (the hotel wifi was all over the place, and impossible to get on in some places)
  • Free time
  • (And most of all) Drew!
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Awesome Memoir Writing

A Celebration!

This happened on Thursday, and by some fortunate coincidence, I happened to be there to catch it at the precise moment:

So thanks to everyone who reads! As always, I renew my promise to try to stay interesting, optimistic, and as non-Dear Diary as possible.

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Awesome Being a girl Home improvements Memoir Writing

Airing My Previously Dirty Laundry

One of my New Year’s Resolutions was to submit a newspaper column once a month. I slacked off in February (hey, there was a lot going on) and while this one didn’t run until today, I submitted it back on Feb 28th, so I’m cutting myself a break on that. I will do better this month.

I also resolved to write one short story per month, which I neglected to do, so TWO stories in March!

===

AIRING MY PREVIOUSLY DIRTY LAUNDRY

I am not a particularly domestic person. When it comes to cleaning, I’d say I’m more of a planner than an actual doer. Right now, as I’m typing this, I’m noticing how dusty my computer screen is, but I have no immediate plans to wipe it off. Let me try blowing on it and see if that works…nope, not really.

I do have general good intentions, and I make lists of things to do, like “fold all laundry” and “clean all dishes” and “vacuum all floors,” but when the weekend rolls around I cross off maybe one and half things and then applaud myself.

Drew and I are halfheartedly looking for a new apartment. Halfheartedly because we don’t really want to move anywhere until the end of April, and everything we look at now is available for new tenants on Monday. So it’s hard to look seriously at anything just now.

One of the amenities we’ve agreed that we want is a washer/dryer in the unit. Having a washer/dryer in your own place is amazing, no doubt. But I think I have discovered the downside to having such readily available appliances: there’s never an excuse to not do laundry.

When I have to walk it outside (or down four flights of steps) (okay, onto the elevator), I can always fall back on an excuse for not doing it today. I’ll do it tomorrow, I just put on pajamas. Or I’ll do it this weekend, I’m kind of sick today and don’t want to expose the rest of the building to my germs. Etc.

But when the washing machine is just behind a door (and not even a sturdy exterior door – just a flimsy interior door!), then I have no excuse. Oh look, there’s one full basket of dirty laundry. Why am I not washing it right now? There’s no reason to wait. In fact, there’s all the reason to do it right now. I’m not doing anything. If I wash it right now I can wear my favorite sweater again tomorrow. (Not that I will.) (But maybe.)

Heaven help me if I had to actually wash things by hand…like, beat them against rocks in a stream, and then wring them out and hang them up.

And let me be honest: of all the chores, laundry is one of my favorites. (Doing dishes is the other.) Because you start with a pile of something dirty, and then, a short time later, you have a pile of something clean. That’s progress. You know what I hate more than anything? Sweeping. Because after you sweep a floor, all you’ve really done is discovered that you need to mop it.

Tonight I’m on a weird little cleaning kick, and I finally tackled that immense, intimidating basket/pile of clean clothes. I folded like a machine, and I stacked and then I placed on shelves. There were nigh on six towels in that basket-pile. When I was done, I fetched the clean clothes from the dryer from yesterday, and I folded all those. You want to know how long it took me? Seventeen minutes. That’s the equivalent of four and a half songs playing in the background. My commute is longer than that. I’ve taken showers longer than that. And now that intimidating pile is gone. And I feel invincible. I even looked around for more things to fold, but no dice – I got ‘em all.

So what’s next? Will I clean the bathroom? Wash dishes? Vacuum out my car? Grab a Swiffer and wipe down my computer screen? Who can say? Today, domesticity… tomorrow, the world.

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Being a girl Friends Love Memoir Nature Sentiment Theatre

Recreating an old photo

It’s been quite the busy weekend. Drew has been in Sacramento with his friends this weekend and is coming home tonight. I somehow accidentally scheduled myself full days so there has been hardly any time at home to do the chores/homework I was going to do this weekend.

Yesterday around noon I picked up Erin and took her with me to look at this apartment in Daly City. Then we went and had sushi, and then we both went home. Then we met up again in Berkeley to see Ghost Light. We both got there early so we spent some time in the most awesome half-price bookstore by Berkeley Rep.

Today, Erin, her 15-year-old sister, and I got manicures at this kind of skeevy place in Burlingame. We won’t be going there again. But my nails are pretty. Then Erin and I went up to Mill Valley to see A Steady Rain at MTC, picking up some In & Out on the way. The show turned out to be a one-act, which was the most happy surprise ever. On the way back home, we stopped to do something I’ve been wanting to do for awhile.

I have this picture of myself when I was really young (4? 5? I can’t tell kids’ ages) up on the headlands over the Golden Gate Bridge, with this security blanket I loved until my dog Kim ate it. And I’ve been wanting to kind of recreate that picture, with my other security blanket (replacement post-Kim), which is almost in pieces. And I know Erin loves adventures and taking pictures, and since we were on that side of the bridge anyway…

So here are the results from that!

It was quite windy.

But a freaking beautiful day today.

I tried to do a panorama view with this (free) app I have, but it was only semi-successful. I’m still learning.

Great weekend! And I’m SO GLAD tomorrow is off as well!

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"Other people" Awesome Celebrities Memoir Nonfiction Theatre

An Expert at Life

Almost a year ago, I had this great experience with a wacky usher at the theatre. She inspired such quotes as “The carny life is a rough life,” and yes, Drew and I still say that to each other on occasion.

Well, she’s been at the theatre again the last couple times I’ve been there, and she’s been the most helpful usher in the entire world. That is sincere. She’s also been slightly less talkative, partly because she’s gone in and watched the show both times and so we’ve only had pre-show and intermission to chat, and it tends to get busy then.

But I did hear some stories last night, among them “Situational Comedy” and “My Time in Taxco.”

So, I wasn’t sure of the definition of situational comedy, so I Googled it. Then I got onto the wiki page for sitcoms. Sitcoms are popular in the US and the UK, but fare poorly in Australia and Canada. Some successful Australian sitcoms are My Name’s McGooley, What’s Yours? and Our Man in Canberra. Canadian sitcoms include Snow Job, Check It Out!, Mosquito Lake, and Not My Department.

I found this interlude amusing, and I still don’t know whether that counts as situation comedy. But I also don’t really care anymore.

She’s right, you know. This is not meant to be a swipe at Bay Area theatre, but you cannot see 7 shows in 5 days all over the Bay and not have them blend together. There needs to be more spacing out. For me, two per weekend is kind of my limit.

Everyone knows the exception is when you go to New York and have to cram a season’s worth of shows into a week. But really, that’s not ideal either. That was maybe the best thing about living there – seeing everything at a more leisurely pace, and waiting for discounts and free tickets to appear.

Anyway, those are your lessons for today. Canada and Australia aren’t as good at sitcoms as the US and the UK; and if you try to see too much in too little time, it all blends together. You’re welcome!

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Awesome Being a girl Dreams Drew Family Love Memoir Self improvement Sentiment

Seven Years

There’s an old wives’ tale that every seven years all the cells in your body have regenerated and replaced themselves, so every seven years you’re like a brand new person.

There’s another saying that relationships suffer from the “seven year itch,” and that you need to be careful at that point because that’s when many people re-evaluate their relationships, and break-ups or divorces happen.

(There’s also research to suggest that the “seven year itch” has become the “three year itch,” and that’s the year you really need to watch out for. Yikes. Three years? Apprently attention spans are shrinking…)

Internet rumors and Yahoo answers aside…this is on my mind because today is Drew’s and my seven year anniversary. It’s hard to believe that it’s only been seven years. I feel like it’s been forever. I couldn’t even buy alcohol when we first got together, and since then we’ve been through college graduations (a certain classmate graduating with each of us, in two different years!), two cross-country moves, pets, no pets, jobs, no jobs, tough times and easier times.

There were times for each of us that we weren’t sure it was going to work out. But that was early days, when we were both still figuring out the intricacies of relationships. By now we’ve learned how to weather storms and that most arguments are momentary and inconsequential. We’ve hit our stride. I could do this forever.

I’m probably not supposed to say this, but I’ve changed a lot in seven years, and it’s due to this relationship. Am I a whole new person? Possibly. Am I better person? Definitely. I’m more patient, quicker to be grateful, and less moody. And if I’m a little cattier…well, it’s all in good spirits. I like me now. I hope other people like me now too.

Happy Anniversary Drew! Here’s to seventy-seven more years! (Hope he reads this post. Otherwise this is kind of awkward.)

Bakers Square, Davis, Jan 2005
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"Other people" Being a girl Friends Memoir Writing

The Art of Bad Tipping

Over the holidays, some friends and I went out to dinner at a place that we have gone several times before. It was a late dinner, so although we had to wait for a table, the restaurant wasn’t full or bustling or anything. But the service was pretty terrible. We just kept waiting for things that should have appeared quicker. Things like a server, to take our orders.
 
Once we had our food (which was not delivered by the server, but by other food deliverers), one of us had to flag down a server (not our server) to ask for a spoon. About five minutes later, our server appeared with a spoon and said, “Oh, they already brought you one.” Then she wandered away.
 
My root beer mug sat empty, although the menu states in all caps, “FREE REFILLS,” through the last three-quarters of the hour we were there.
 
Once we were clearly finished eating, some bussers came and removed the plates…and then we sat and talked, which was nice, but that’s the appropriate point for a server to come back, ask if you’re interested in dessert or coffee or anything, and then drop off the check. We finally had to flag her down to ask for the check…and then again to pick up the check.
 
When it came time to write in a tip, the table was all in agreement that we should make some kind of statement with this optional dollar amount.
 
Which brings me to my main point – what’s the appropriate way to tip poorly, when you want to make it clear that you felt the service was below par? One person argued that we should leave a zero tip, because that leaves the clearest message. But I think that generally you should leave something so that they know that you chose to leave a small amount – and it’s not that you didn’t know about tipping, or maybe you meant to leave cash on the table or something.
 
I ended up leaving about 10%, which is pretty awful as far as tips go. But afterwards I was told unhesitatingly that I should have left a big fat zero. That 10% just makes it look like I am a bad tipper, but leaving no tip at all leaves the strongest message.
 
I’m really not sure where I stand on this. I usually tip pretty well, because I like the idea of positive reinforcement and I’m generally happy with the service. My generosity goes up if I frequent the business and if they start to recognize me. I don’t want to be the girl who never tips. And I remember working food service and how each time someone stuffed a dollar in the tip jar, it would just make my day.
 
I also hate to treat anyone badly if I don’t know their situation. Was our server just having an off night? Did her boyfriend just dump her? Was she up all night with some kind of home repair problem? Who knows? On the other hand, she is getting paid to do her job – that extra 20% of our table’s check isn’t guaranteed to her, and she knows that she has to work to get that optional money out of her customers.
 
She wasn’t overtly rude, and she didn’t make any mistakes. She didn’t blow cigarette smoke in our faces or bring us all the wrong meals. She was just absent the whole time. So what’s the best way to handle that TIP line on the credit card slip?
 
Retrospectively, I feel okay about that 10%. It’s not as harsh as leaving nothing, but I didn’t have to smilingly hand over a fistful of extra bills beyond what the meal cost. I hope she was just having a momentary lapse of concentration, and that today she is back in top form, slinging plates and scooping up gratuities.
 
I also hope that the next time we go back there, we’re seated in another section…something in the other room, perhaps? No? Well, we can just sit at the bar, thanks.

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Awesome Beginnings Being a girl Drew Endings Home improvements Memoir Nonfiction Sentiment Work

The Devolution of an Apartment

Because I missed the boat on having a comprehensive wedding blog (one of my top 5 regrets ever), I have become slightly obsessive about documenting everything just in case it’s important. Most lately, the devolution of our apartment.

Here it is near the beginning of the breakdown. The hutch is (mostly) emptied out but everything is basically still there:

As the hutch and dining room set move out, everything else starts moving around:

The bedroom and my awesome red shelves, now emptied of books. Well, almost:

The living room only seemed to grow more crowded as we packed, despite my giving away 6 bags of clothes/shoes/etc, and 2 boxes of kitchen stuff, and us throwing away tons of trash:

Possibly making some progress? The desk is gone from the bedroom:

The couches, now freed from their restraining covers, move their waterprint patterns out the balcony and over the side (no room to get them out the front door).

Drew blinds me with the dresser mirror. Maybe he’s tired of me taking pictures while he and his dad move the heavy stuff.

So much room!

Yet still so much stuff!

While Drew and his dad drove the couches to the storage, I made it my job to clean off the bed.

I liked to put blinders on and pretend that this was all that was left. Ignorance is bliss.

The truck filled with boxes:

Our stored stuff, filling up the space:

My plan was to open every cupboard and drawer in the kitchen that still had stuff in it, and close them as I emptied them out.

I got some boxes from work with some strange codes on them…

Progress!

Then a break to take pictures. The masks were mostly because I was using Easy Off in the oven, and that stuff is toxic. But then it was fun to just keep them on.

I am really loving this afternoon spent with my head in an oven. So fun.

Actually, this is preferable.

The final day. Seriously, what is all this stuff.

FINALLY! What a giant bedroom.

What a sparkling bathroom.

What an empty living room!

And of course, to say goodbye, San Bruno had to dress up in its finest.

So long, first apartment in our married life! You were a good little apartment! I will think of you fondly!