Categories
Being a girl Books Memoir

Ima let you finish, but Injun Joe is the best nickname of all time. Of all time!

When I hear people talking about certain things, I have this deep seated yearning to chime in.  When the people are my friends or family, I definitely just put my two cents in.  But what to do when I overhear conversations between, say, two lower-tier Facebook friends, or the hosts on my favorite morning radio show, or the actors chatting in their dressing room before the show?

Lately I’ve found myself biting my tongue A LOT to keep from piping up with my extensive opinions and feedback on a variety of topics.  Here’s an incomplete list:

Black Swan
Trader Joe’s (and Trader Joe’s products)
The Time Traveler’s Wife (the book)
Mormons
the Mill Valley Health Club
crossword puzzles
that “Why Chinese mothers are superior” article
bacon jam, or bacon candy bars, or bacon and chocolate
The Social Network
The King’s Speech
the Oscars in general
The Office
Huck Finn (the new edition)
Ricky Gervais, in particular his performance at the Golden Globes
Real Housewives
The Bridge (the documentary about the Golden Gate Bridge)
TheatreWorks
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (the book)
Megan Mullally
Broadway
Big Love (the TV show)
Biggest Loser
Kelsey Grammer
Jeopardy! (especially that Watson the computer is going up against Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter)

So, if you have any questions about any of these topics, feel free to ask me, as I’m ready and more than willing to address any of them.

Categories
Awesome Being a girl Family Friends Memoir Sentiment

What’s “film”?

Also in the boxes from my room at my parents’ house – 3 rolls of undeveloped film.

One of the rolls is not a typical canister, and Walgreens told me they don’t develop that stuff anymore.

One of the rolls ended up being blank (bummer).

The third roll (or the first roll, depending on how you look at it), ended up being random pictures from…2001? 2002?  Who knows?  It’s all pictures around my house, or Kirsten’s (my high school bff) house, those are her ducks, that’s my brother on the ground, having apparently been bested by Kirsten’s dog…I don’t know what this is.

Actually, this is the exact reason that I’m so grateful for digital cameras.

And no, I did not get doubles of this.  (I actually just got the negatives and a photo CD – yay 2011!)

Enjoy.

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Categories
Awesome Beauty Being a girl Friends Memoir Nature Nonfiction Sentiment

50 Reasons I’m Thankful To Live In San Francisco

In November, the Village Voice published 50 Reasons To Be Pretty Damn Euphoric You Live In New York City.  I’m not arguing with them – God knows I miss NYC – but I immediately started thinking about a similar list for San Francisco.  I haven’t been here too long, and my activity in the city is limited, so this is just one person’s very specific list.

(I gladly welcome input on this, especially when it comes to something I’ve left off, which will probably be because I just haven’t experienced it yet.)

50 Reasons I’m Thankful Every Day To Live In The San Francisco Bay Area

“San Francisco is 49 square miles surrounded by reality.” -Jefferson Airplane

50. Apartments come stocked with dishwashers. Not necessary, but very convenient.

49. It’s easy to avoid Starbucks and patronize independent coffee shops. (But it’s also easy to find a Starbucks if you need that peppermint white mocha.)

48. The carousel at the San Francisco Zoo.

47. There is always someone crazier than you. Always.

46. The view from the Golden Gate Bridge.

45. The many views of the Golden Gate Bridge.

44. Cable cars: the city’s moving landmarks.

43. Driving around the city and realizing you’re on the street where Full House was filmed…or Mrs. Doubtfire…or Invasion of the Body Snatchers. You know, any of your childhood favorites.

42. You don’t have to be a kid to love the Exploratorium.

41. Or, for that matter, the California Academy of Sciences.

40. That sense of superiority when you get to tell someone, “Don’t call it ‘Frisco.’”

39. Because the city is not strictly a grid, the feeling when you conquer the streets of San Francisco is one of invincibility! You are now unstoppable!

38. I’ve never seen curved escalators anywhere else besides Westfield Mall.

37. Some people are into tea. Those people love Lovejoys in Noe Valley.

36. “It’s an odd thing, but anyone who disappears is said to be seen in San Francisco. It must be a delightful city and possess all the attractions of the next world.” -Oscar Wilde

35. I’d rather have a spider or two in the corner, than a kitchen full of roaches (yuck).

34. Just south of San Francisco is Colma, where dead people outnumber the living.

33. Watching the fog creep in. You know it’s ruining the sunny day but you can’t stop watching.

32. Baker Beach (under the Golden Gate Bridge) is “frequented by clothing-optional sunbathers.” Our very own nude beach, so close to home!

31. Napa Valley and its myriad vineyards and tasting rooms are but a short car trip away.

30. The Crème Brûlée Cart: food always tastes better when you’ve had to hunt it down.

29. The other day, I saw a homeless man with a cat carrier. And he opened the door and a chicken walked out. And the chicken was on a leash and pecked in the grass while he smoked a cigarette. This was at 8:30 in the morning, and set the tone for the rest of my day: bizarre and wonderful.

28. Spending a summer afternoon browsing the boutiques. Even if you don’t spend anything.

27. There are streets, where you can look up, and even though you’re within the city limits, you’d never guess it.

26. On paper, it sounds kind of pathetic to take a number and wait in line for a half hour for an ice cream cone. Yet at Mitchell’s it’s worth it.

25. Descending into SFO through the fog and over the water…always takes my breath away for a second.

24. You gotta love friendly small talk with your Target cashier.

23. Checking out the pre-Broadway runs of shows that will be Tony winners in just a few years. Oh, to be able to say, “I saw it when.”

22. The Stairway Walks.

21. How many cities have built their own island, just for entertainment purposes?

20. The Giants winning the World Series – if you were in the city that night, you really felt like part of a 1,000,000-person family.

19. Can’t afford tickets to the SF Opera? No problem. They perform for free in Golden Gate Park, and simulcast certain operas to the big screen in AT&T Park.

18. Who needs Missed Connections? We’re not afraid to just talk to each other.

17. Visit the Dickens Faire at the Cow Palace in December, to get your 19th-century-London fix.

16. Sourdough bread is everywhere. Often scooped out, with soup in the middle.

15. If someone says, “How are the reviews for that show?” a valid answer is, “The little man is sitting up straight and clapping.”

14. If you don’t mind battling the tourists…a hot fudge sundae at Ghirardelli Square sure hits the spot.

13. San Francisco is like a thumbnail version of all the things that are awesome about the state of California.

12. Having the choice between taking public transit or driving yourself. San Franciscans love choice. You might even say we’re pro-choice.

11. Even the homeless people are friendly. San Francisco has some of the most polite homeless people ever.

10. You gotta give this city bonus points for springing up on those crazy hills.

9. I love me some shopping in Union Square. Especially at Christmas time!

8. The BART platforms have marks on the ground where the doors will line up. Make prewalking even easier.

7. Right across the Golden Gate Bridge from the bustling city, you can visit ancient, immense sequoias in Muir Woods.

6. This week, State Sen. Mark Leno introduced legislation that would require history classes to teach LGBT history, in an effort to increase awareness and thus reduce bullying.

5. 60 degrees year round, with a week of summer and a week of winter. Just enough time to enjoy the heat or the rain, and then back to regularly scheduled programming.

4. Drinks and dancing in the Castro.

3. After the 1906 earthquake and fire, Jack London said, “San Francisco is gone.” Well, we certainly proved him wrong. We are a resilient city of tenacious people.

2. I mean…I’m here. : )

1. In fact, lots of people leave the Bay Area…but lots of people come back home. There must be a reason why. I suppose it’s because it’s awesome!

 

Categories
"Other people" Being a girl Friends Memoir

My Friends…Cut Yourself Some Slack.

I think there’s an epidemic afoot.

Yesterday, two of my best friends each brought up the same concern: a feeling of failure or being tried and found wanting, compared to other people of our same age and background. 

One referred to herself as suffering from the “never enough” syndrome.  She suggested that this was the fault of the feminist movement: since now women can “do it all,” now we are required to do it all.  (This is actually what Lucinda Coxon’s play Happy Now? is about.)

My other friend just started a chat with me out of nowhere, saying that she needed to get off Facebook because all she could see was high school friends getting engaged and having babies.

They both speculated that maybe Facebook is causing the problems, and maybe the answer is just to stay off of it.  (What’s funny is that each of these conversations happened on Facebook.  Hm.)

Having two of my best friends bring this up – in the same day, no less – really made me think.  After all, who doesn’t Facebook stalk and then envy other people?  That’s the great thing about Facebook: the low-key keeping in touch with people.  It just means that you get to see every time someone makes good, gets married, has another baby, gets another promotion.

Both friends seemed kind of bleak about it though.  Which I get.  We’re 26 years old and all three of us feel like we should by all rights have our careers, our relationships, and our lives in order.  None of us have managed to go 3 for 3, although none of us is doing too badly.  But there are people out there with houses, careers, marriages, kids, dogs, cats, car payments, iPads, vacations, gym memberships, and 14-foot Christmas trees.

They’re not the only friends to ever have this conversation with me, which makes me think that it might be a much more widespread thing (hence the “epidemic”).  There’s pressure on us to be amazing, because we’ve been told our whole lives how awesome we are.  Then at some point each of us ends up leaving our small pond and realizing that we’re not really the giant fish we thought we were.

I think that one reason that I’m a lot more comfortable with my “ordinary” life, is that during my freshman year of college, I lived in a dorm with a bunch of smart geeks – we’re talking math, physics, computer science, engineering, hella smart geeks.  I was one of two English majors in the entire dorm (and the other girl changed majors).  So I figured out pretty quick that I wasn’t going to impress everyone anymore.

(This is the part where I tell the story about the guy in college who, while telling me about his plans to get his physics PhD in the next couple years, said to me, “You’re not smart enough to get a PhD in physics…I mean, I’m sure you’re smart in English or whatever.”  We did not end up dating.  It may have had something to do with that conversation.)

So I’m not having to learn, post-college, that I’m not a unique and perfect extraordinary snowflake.  I figured that out already, and I know how to own it and be happy even if I’m not rich or famous.  I think all my friends who are learning that now are having a harder time with it.

The funny thing is that I have a pretty healthy level of self-esteem.  I know I’m pretty cool, and I know that if we hadn’t gone to New York for 3 years, I could have set up a career for myself in California by this time.  But the time out there, and my adventures and experiences, were totally worth it to me.  I also would rather spend the extra years scraping it together now, while I’m still only 26, than be trotting along in my mid-30s and have everything suddenly swept out from under me.

Both my girlfriends are the same way.  They’ve each had kind of a bumpy time since college, with graduate schools and moves and relocations and other graduate programs.  Give us a few years and we’ll all have things figured out…or at least more figured out than they are now.

In the meantime, I told each of them, maybe staying off Facebook is a good idea if it’s bothering you so much.  But what’s even more fun (and doesn’t require limiting your social networking) is just to practice making fun of other people instead of envying them.  Hey, I too stalk other people’s pictures and feel jealous of how pretty they look or how nice their vacation was or how big their new house is.  But the percentage of people I envy is only, like, 25.  The other 75% of people on Facebook is just begging to be mocked.

Categories
Memoir Theatre Work

Facebook status updates

I just love these things…

Categories
Beauty Memoir

One day I’ll be grateful to get carded. For now, it’s still a nuisance.

Over the weekend I got carded for buying lottery tickets.  Not even real lottery tickets.  Dollar scratchers.

I went into the 7-11, mulled over the selection, and chose the two that weren’t Christmas-themed.  The woman said, “Over 18, right?” to which I smiled and said, “Yes.”  Because I am so clearly over 18.  Then she said, “Do you have ID?” to which I said, “Um…it’s in the car…hang on.”  At this point she’d already given me the tickets and I’d already paid for them in quarters.  I got my license – the first one I grabbed (out of my two California licenses with different last names and one NY state ID) happened to be the old one with the hole punched in it, and I expected her to tell me she needed a valid one, but apparently not.  I took my dollar scratchers and my 26-year-old self and left.

I would understand if I were getting carded for buying alcohol.  Even cigarettes.  But dollar scratchers?

I blame the woman at the place in the mall, where I went to get my bangs trimmed last Thursday.  I’ve been doing them myself since July and they were getting a little raggedy.  She said, “I remember you.  To your eyebrows, right?” and I said yes, and then she spritzed the heck out of them and started trimming.  By the time they were half-dry I knew they were too short and so did she.  I still tipped her, but every day I’m checking to see if they’re getting longer.  They are so not to my eyebrows.  Even Drew said I look like a little kid, and I think the subtext (that he had the decency not to say) was that I look like a little boy.  Oh well. 

The good thing about bangs is that they grow fast.  And from now on I’ll ask my friend Molly to do the trims I don’t just do myself (eyes crossed, in front of the mirror).

So I guess you could say I had an uneventful weekend.

Categories
Beauty Memoir Theatre Work

Cameraphone pictures

My phone had started throwing up this message whenever I tried to go to my message inbox: “Memory is 99% full.  Please delete some files and messages before continuing.”  I kept clearing out my inbox but it didn’t make the message go away.  I turned my phone all the way off and back on, because I’m of that “Did you try restarting it?” generation.  When even that didn’t work I was thinking maybe this was the beginning of the end – maybe I needed a new phone.  Then I mentioned it to my brother, who told me that pictures and messages use the same memory and maybe I had too many pictures.  Well, I did have something like 350 pictures in my phone, so on my Bart ride into work the other day, I set to work deleting the ones I didn’t need.

I deleted a lot of pictures that I’ve already uploaded to Facebook or here.  I also deleted all the blurry shots of, say, a woman wearing a bat-wings headband, or a picture of someone’s cute dog, or a lot of food pictures.  I also decided that if I couldn’t remember what a picture signified, then I would delete it.

After deleting over 100 blurry, duplicate, or pointless pictures, I still have a good representation of the last year or so.  Here are some of the “significant” photos I chose to keep.

Me, tiger mask, Dickens Faire
Disneyland last December
Drew wrapped in the GIANT afghan my mom made us
The set for Sunlight, my first show at MTC.
Equivocation set
My stage left view of Woody Guthrie
I just like these colors.
Me and Liz attempting to take a picture in front of Olsen Hall (the English building) at UC Davis.
In Hayes Valley - "Ecstasy" by Dan Das Mann and Karen Cusalito
My friend Christy's baby, Serenity.
Using the courtesy phone at the SF Opera's "Madama Butterfly."
Megan celebrating officially buying her wedding dress!

The following is a series of the weird toys my coworker keeps at her desk…

So weird. 

And last but  not least, this year’s Christmas tree!  I’ve just realized it’s not a very good picture.  But it conveys a certain holiday spirit.

Categories
Beauty Memoir

Saturn: Calypso

There are a lot of things that could be fixed about my car.  It growls majorly when it’s cold, the colder the louder.  The brakes squeal occasionally.  Aesthetically, things are falling apart a little bit: the panel on the inside of the driver’s side door is coming off the frame…I never replaced that piece my brother knocked out one day in 2003…I spilled milk in there last week and didn’t get a chance to clean it up.  It needs a new quart of oil every couple months (where’s it going? I don’t know).  I did just put a new air filter in, so I feel good about that.  The windshield wipers need to be replaced.  It needs a wash, bad.  And a general tune-up.

I’m not the only one who’s impressed that A) my parents kept it for me during my NYC hiatus, and B) I’m driving it around now.  This is the car I drove in high school, man.  I got this car in 2001 and have put something like 100,000 miles on it since then.  I’m so grateful that it’s holding together and still running pretty well, but I’m not fooling myself that I’ll have it for another ten years.  I talk to it the way you’d talk to a stubborn horse that’s getting on in years: “Come on baby, I know you can do it…good job!  I’m so proud of you!”  I’ll be letting go of a big piece of my history when I finally have to break down and get a “new” car (especially since I think I’ll probably be abandoning the manual transmission for the more responsible and practical automatic transmission).

But there are days, like today, when it’s warmed up just enough to cut out the growl, and I drop it into fourth at just the right speed, and the road is just hilly and curvy enough to be fun, but the speed limit is still 50, and I feel like it just wants to GO.  The old horse has one last race left in her and she wants to run it.  And I’m like, “Yeah, okay, I’m 19 again, let’s do it, let’s just go.”

Categories
Endings Memoir Sentiment

Estate sale

This weekend Drew’s family had an estate sale at the house of a family member who passed away over the summer.  The purpose was to clean out the house of as much stuff as possible so they can get the house on the market.  Everything was set up inside the house so people would come in and wander around to look at everything.  There were boxes of books lining the driveway up to the garage, where there were tools and two (gorgeous) steamer trunks and an exercise machine that we all took turns trying.

I had matinees both days, but I went down with Drew in the morning around 7:30 each day, and stayed until 11:00.  The first day that 3 1/2 hours was packed with people snapping things up, including a guy who right off the bat wanted all 35 sets of salt and pepper shakers.  Edie and I spent the next 15 minutes wrapping them all up in newspaper.  He came in every so often and said things like, “Oh, look at that little raccoon figurine – that’s cute, throw that in too.”  I wish I’d gotten a picture of all of the salt and pepper shakers the way they were set up, but by the time I started thinking about taking pictures, all that was left on the table was this ashtray:

(Obviously there’s stuff on the table around it.  I exaggerated.)

In the bedroom there were these two portraits, and I’m not sure why there are two of them.

In the other bedroom, these dolls:

In the kitchen: this bowl, which surprisingly was still there on Sunday afternoon.

We also still had many puzzles at the end of the weekend.

The second day was less busy but people still came.  It was raining in Redwood City and not good garage sale weather.  But we did get rid of the steamer trunks, a bed and nightstand, and some miscellaneous stuff.  Overall, the difference in the house was astounding from Saturday morning to Sunday afternoon.

It was weird – watching people fill plastic grocery bags with the small details that used to make up a person.  I found myself getting suspicious of things: why are you taking that entire box of old books?  Is one of them worth a million dollars and you’re sneaking it out to sell it on eBay?  Where are you going with that picture of a little girl dressed like the Virgin Mary?  Do you even have a cassette player?  What are you going to do with those tapes of CATS and Barbara Streisand?  Then as I watched the house empty out, including all the furniture, I got really motivated to clean up some my own stuff.

Among the stuff we came home with: a cuckoo clock, a cigarette holder, some fur hats, a giant area rug (for donation to MTC), and a copy of Emily Post’s Etiquette book (it has a chapter telling you the proper etiquette if you have an audience with the Pope!).  And yes, I recognize the irony in bringing home more stuff while I’m thinking about thinning my stuff out.

In conclusion: Estate sale ended up being super successful, and it was really fun being down there and helping out with this big project.  I wish I could have stayed for the entire day, especially on Saturday, when it was really hopping.

And, the story of the salt and pepper shakers guy is that he’s a bartender.  He spent another hour and a half browsing and drove away finally in a fully loaded car.  I’m just glad we weren’t enabling a hoarder.  Hopefully.

Categories
Memoir Religion Theatre Work

I did say it was indescribable.

Yesterday was the first day of rehearsal for 9 Circles by Bill Cain at Marin Theatre Company.  Being back there is really indescribable for me.  Driving up there was this huge mashup of feelings, from nostalgia for the days when I was paid hourly and contracted for longer than 8 weeks, to excitement at seeing people I’ve missed, to that crazy rush that floods you in the fall (you know what I mean).  We don’t get leaves turning colors in San Bruno, and I miss that.

Then add in the fact that I’m a little jealz of the people working on the mainstage show that opened last night (In the Red and Brown Water, part of the Brother/Sister Trilogy), and I kinda wish I could be back in the main theatre.  I did spend 6 months skulking around back there; I guess I was feeling a little territorial.  It’s cool, but it tinged my HAPPYNESS! with a little bittersweet edge.  Same thing when I thought of my friends there…we’re never going to be friends outside of work.  You know how you can just tell?  But I really love hanging out with them, like, between shows.  It’s so much fun, and I think I miss having guy friends around.  Where did all my guy friends go?

PS. Mill Valley is freaking gorgeous.  I think it must just look like Lake County and that’s why I’m so drooly over it all the time.  With leaves changing and clouds making dapples everywhere and everything smelling like woodsmoke and apples (or did I just make that up?)…  Even now I’m like flailing around in my chair trying to get out my feelings.  This is why I’m not a poet.  Ah beauty!

On my way home I stopped at Target and then store-hopped around the shopping center.  Running errands like this, especially when the sun has already set, makes me think of Christmas shopping.  It’s like around the corner!  Halloween stuff is everywhere!  Holiday time!  Omg!

Did I ever mention that in March/April, spring is my favorite month, but the rest of the year, it’s FALL?