Categories
Awesome Books Memoir Nonfiction Sentiment Technology

The real function of the internet

Yesterday I brought up the old adage that all quotes are either from the Bible or Shakespeare. Last night I was thinking about this. Before the internet, how did we know whether any particular quote was Shakespeare or Scripture?

If I had wanted to know where “Not with a bang but a whimper” came from, I would probably have to first have an idea (my idea was Yeats) and then I’d have to go through my poetry books from high school and college and try to find “that Yeats poem” that the quote was from.

If I were trying to narrow it down between the Bible and the Bard, I guess it’s possible that I would have a concordance of one or both of those things (my parents had a Bible concordance) and I could search for it that way. Is it likely, though, that I would have either of those books? (Maybe…as I was an English major, they would have been great pre-internet gifts.)

But then what happens in this situation, when all my guesses are wrong? I would have to just ask people if they knew, and keep an eye out for it in the future? Or maybe in a non-internet society I would be trained to remember these things better? And like a good English major, I would have just known: “Oh, that’s from TS Eliot’s The Hollow Men. It’s a reference to the Gunpowder Plot, and how instead of ending with the planned explosion, it ended with Guy Fawkes’ whimper as he was caught and executed.”

Man, I’d feel so smart all the time. And probably do better on Jeopardy!

But instead, the second I come up against something I’m not sure of (or something I’m pretty sure of) I run to Google to double check it.

New project: instead of just Googling things all the time* I’m going to try to remember some of them, using my brain power. Let’s see how this goes.

*Things I have Googled while writing this post: Yeats (correct spelling?); concordance (correct spelling?); “not with a bang but a whimper” (which Eliot poem was that again?); Shakespeare concordance (does such a thing exist?), “if I were” vs “if I was” (and now I finally understand the different between these two – so today is a success).

Categories
Being a girl Exercise Memoir Nonfiction Self improvement

A letter to High School Me

If I could go back in time and tell High School Me one thing…

www.westwood.k12.ma.us

…it would be to take advantage of Phys Ed.

I would rejoice if, at this point in my life, there was an hour of every weekday set aside for exercise, complete with someone shaking it up every few weeks and introducing a new unit (archery, then softball, then tennis, then weight lifting). This would happen at the same time every day, preferably in the morning before the rest of my classes– I mean, before work. A relative stranger would intimidate me through warm-ups of jumping jacks and crunches. I would have very little excuse or reason not to go, because at the end of the year I would get a grade, based not on my physical fitness, but on how hard I tried this year.

And in high school, we took all this for granted. We cheated our way through running the mile, and we opted to play badminton (or even ping pong!) instead of tennis because, let’s face it, a bunch of people trying not to move too much can play badminton pretty easily.

I mean, all the other mistakes I made and stupid things I did in those four years don’t really matter. You know, they shape the person you become, etc etc. I didn’t make any mistakes that ruined my life or anyone else’s (as far as I know). But it might have been really useful if someone had just enlightened me as to the fact that one day, I would pay a monthly gym membership for the chance to run on a treadmill and lift weights. And maybe that same person could point out to me the comparisons between a gym membership, and a Phys Ed class.

Categories
Being a girl Books Dreams Fashion Food Friends Love Nonfiction Religion Self improvement Sentiment Writing

21 in 2 months

After yesterday’s post about how I have bought too many books since Jan 1st, a friend asked me to list them all. So here goes!

These are the ones I bought from Amazon with a gift card:

Cell by Stephen King – this is me collecting every Stephen King book
Who the Hell is Pansy O’Hara? by Jenny Bond and Chris Sheedy – I saw this in the used bookstore I used to frequent when I worked at the Opera, and even though Erin said it was so-so, I’ve wanted to read it since then
Magical Thinking by Augusten Burroughs – I want to own all his stuff because I think he’s a good role model for me
Naked, Drunk, and Writing by Adair Lara – I idolize her, and this is one of the best “how to” writing books I’ve ever read
A Wolf at the Table by Augusten Burroughs – collecting all the Augusten Burroughs books is a lot easier than collecting all the Stephen King books

A Game of Thrones by George RR Martin – so good!
Touched by a Vampire by someone named Jones – from the used bookstore, about religion in Twilight…it looks like a joke, and that’s why I bought it, although I paid $7 for it, so who’s the joke on now?
The Complete Sherlock Holmes Volume II by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle – love Sherlock Holmes!
O Pioneers! by Willa Cather – love these Barnes and Noble volumes!
A Widow for One Year by John Irving – love John Irving!
More Tales of the City by Armistead Maupin – I really liked the show at ACT, and I really liked the first Tales of the City, so I look forward to reading more

Oh! Here’s The Complete Sherlock Holmes Volume I, near the foot of the bed. I was reading it about 6 weeks ago.

I shouldn’t count these since they were Christmas presents, but they are sitting out, so…

Etiquette by Emily Post – the 1922 edition!
Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs

This was also a Christmas present.

11/22/63 by Stephen King – one of his weirder premises, but I still enjoyed it!

Two major finds a couple weekends ago – two Stephen King books I thought were going to be difficult to get. But they basically fell into my hands!

Blockade Billy by Stephen King – $4.95 on the sale shelf at Barnes and Noble
The Colorado Kid by Stephen King – $2.95 at the used bookstore in Berkeley

Books 2 through 4 of the Underland Chronicles by the author of The Hunger Games. I love these books. I cannot recommend them enough. I also have the first one, but loaned it to Erin. I haven’t bought the fifth and final one yet, but I will when I finish the fourth one.

Gregory the Overlander by Suzanne Collins (not pictured)
Gregory and the Prophecy of Bane by Suzanne Collins
Gregory and the Curse of the Warmbloods by Suzanne Collins
Gregory and the Marks of Secret by Suzanne Collins

Next to the bed! I’m about halfway through and really like it. I think I will read each book before the next season of the HBO series comes out.

A Clash of Kings by George RR Martin

So that’s 19 books that I’ve purchased since January 1st, plus 3 Christmas presents. But wait! I am currently awaiting two books from Amazon:

These are for next month’s book club – they’re both pretty short and we couldn’t meet for another 5 weeks, so we decided to do both of them. I am actually pretty excited about both, but I will probably read them in this order.

The White Castle by Orhan Pamuk
Bright Lights, Big City by Jay McInerney – this book has been on my “to read” list FOREVER

So there you have it. Twenty-one books purchased in the first two months of 2012. Will the trend continue like this?

The thing of it is, I’m obviously not embarrassed or worried about this behavior. I love buying books and having books and reading books. I have no intention to stop buying them. I make no promises like, “I won’t buy anything else until I read everything I own.” There’s a Barenaked Ladies lyric,

I don’t buy everything I read,
I haven’t even read everything I’ve bought.

I identify with that.

Stay tuned, and I’ll give you a full breakdown of all of Stephen King’s works, and the few I still need to complete my collection!

Categories
Being a girl Books Nonfiction Religion

I will trade social media for books any day of the week.

I gave up Facebook for Lent. I wasn’t going to give up anything, because as usual it snuck up on me, but then my uncle made an offhand comment (a Facebook status, actually), that “I guess none of us gave this up for Lent.” And then I realized that would be a great idea.

My reasoning was that I have friends who I never reach out to anymore, because I rationalize that I know what’s going on in their life, because I just looked at 60 pictures they just posted of their latest vacation. But I’m not really keeping in touch with these people. So I’m going to attempt to communicate with friends and family via other methods – even if it’s just email – over the next 5 1/2 weeks.

In the few weeks leading up to Ash Wednesday, I had been getting tired of Facebook – of always checking it and of never really seeing anything new, but then checking it again anyway. I also feel like my news feed has devolved into people sharing not-funny pictures. Oh, and now I get to see all the weird, embarrassing articles you just read online.

I’m not complaining about Facebook. It is what it is and it’s great for some things. But I think this break comes at a good time.

On the other hand, I know I’m doing something right because I’m kind of dying to get back on there and see what’s going on.

I have been uploading things for work, but not looking at anything else. Which is hard. I have stopped myself half a dozen times from just lazily clicking on someone’s profile, from a comment they made on the work page, just to see what’s up. Oops!

But last night, while I was on a mini-cleaning frenzy, I looked down and realized there was an Amazon box of 4 books on the ground. I remembered ordering it, but couldn’t quite remember what the items were. Then I cast my gaze around…on the pile of books I got at that used bookstore…the other used bookstore…from that Amazon gift card…from that payday that I went to Barnes and Noble…and I realized, if I had 9 boxes of books (a conservative estimate) when we moved in here, I surely have 11 now.

How did that happen? In 2 months? Maybe for Lent, I should have given up buying books. But that’s just crazy talk. I’d sooner give up chocolate again.

Categories
"Other people" Being a girl cars Nonfiction Not awesome

A Dashed-Off Motorcycle Rant

Today I saw a motorcycle zoom all the way up a line of traffic waiting at a stop light, cut into the left turn lane (which was actually in the process of turning), weave to the inside of the lane, and then flip a u-turn and speed away.

Why are motorcycles allowed to break traffic laws and behave carelessly? It’s just a question I have.

The way I understand it is that at one point in history, the motorcycle engines were cooled by air, so that’s why they were allowed to weave between stop-and-go traffic – because if they also had to sit and wait (heaven forbid) then their engines would overheat. But – the way I understand it – air-cooling is not the case anymore.

It’s not the egregious speeding on open freeways that bothers me. It’s not the weaving through stopped traffic – I mean, we’d all do that if we could, am I right? But when traffic is traveling, but slightly heavy, I still see motorcycles cutting dangerously close to other cars, and that bothers me. Because if you cut in toward a car in front of me, and that car swerves a little and knocks you into my lane, and you end up flying into my windshield, I’m going to be traumatized for life, and possibly injured.

Okay. That’s all I wanted to say. Motorcycles, I think you look dangerous, albeit sort of cool. But not cool enough to make it okay for you to traumatize and possibly injure me.

Update: Open Letters, a (hilarious) tumblr of open letters to randoms, totally did a motorcycle one a month ago, LOL.

Categories
Fiction Nonfiction TV

The Valentine’s Day Episode of “Glee” Was Really Not So Bad

Anyone who knows me knows I’ve kind of fallen off the Glee train. What started out as this super fun show about high school kids singing and dancing, has turned into a mess of tangled/unfinished plot lines, overly cheesy characters, and some uncomfortably bad acting.

But the Valentine’s Day episode was a pleasant surprise in many ways. **Spoilers below…although is that kind of redundant?**

For one thing (and everyone knows that this is key), the teachers were, for the most part, absent from the episode. The appearance of too much faculty/staff of McKinley High always brings the episodes down. Too much teacher-singing and I tune right out (no pun intended). But Tuesday’s episode focused on the students and their romantic escapades, and I appreciated that.

One of the arcs in the show right now is that Finn has proposed to Rachel and she finally said yes. So they’re now navigating their new relationship, and in Tuesday’s episode, Rachel’s two dads have found out about the engagement and are surprisingly supportive. They even invite Finn’s mom and step-dad over for dinner, where the four parents reveal that they are leaving Finn to spend the night with Rachel! OMG you guys, high school students having sleepovers!

One continuity thing that bothered me here was that they had dinner, drinks, dessert; Finn’s parents took off; Rachel and Finn “went to bed,” meaning she took a shower and went through her nightly beauty routine (which she says is longer than her morning routine); she and Finn get into an argument; somehow kiss and make up*; and are snuggling in bed (scandalous)…at which point he looks at the clock and says, “It’s 7:30.” Meaning 7:30pm, meaning they get up, get dressed again, and head out to the Valentine’s party with all their classmates. Meaning…this dinner party started at what, 4:00pm?

But then we find out a twist! The parents do NOT approve of Finn and Rachel getting married straight out of high school, and are instead trying to reverse-psychology the two into realizing on their own that it’s not a good idea. Which, of course, backfires and they decide to hurry things up and get married in May. Oops!

*They somehow kiss and make up – I am disappointed that the writers skipped straight from the two of them getting into a fight over what the future holds for each of them in NYC…to everything being snuggly and back to normal. Why did they skip the making up scene? Seems like a cop-out, and also, this would have been an amazing time to show us a rational discussion and apology between two “adults.” Maybe if I’d seen how each of them had handled their part of that coming back together, I would have more sympathy for them and see them more as adults. This could have been a great “role model” moment for teens.

The students, although all vaguely somewhere between 15-18, are all portrayed as adults, making adult decisions we’re supposed to go along with (“Let’s get married” or “I’m switching schools to go to school with my boyfriend even though my parents paid for me to go to private school for 12 years of my life”). I cringe uncontrollably when, in glee club, couples are paired up to sing songs to each other about undying love, when they all keep trading off partners with each other. (I did like Quinn singing “Never Can Say Goodbye” to all three of her glee club boyfriends…but that was in one of those metaphorical spaces, we weren’t literally watching her performance in glee club.)

(And what is glee club anyway? Is it a class? Is it before school? After school? Sometimes it seems like no one else is around, sometimes a bell rings at the end of it. What is this weird time-glee continuum we’ve been dropped into?)

Thirdly (?), I find myself fascinated with Karofsky’s story. David Karofsky is a football player who used to torment Kurt for being (flamboyantly and fashionably) gay. In one episode last season, Kurt finally confronted Karofsky in an empty locker room, asking why he focused so much energy on bullying him, and Karofsky “hate kissed” Kurt in a moment that, I’m pretty sure, shocked most of the viewing audience. Not in a boys-kissing-boys kind of way, but in a I-did-not-see-that-coming-at-all-and-now-everything-makes-sense-and-I-feel-sympathy-for-Karofsky-now-that’s-so-weird kind of way.

Karofsky has since moved to another school – the details are fuzzy, sometimes I feel like I must have missed weeks of episodes because I have no idea where this person came from (Sugar) or that person went (Shelby). But for Valentine’s Day Karofsky came back and was revealed to be the person sending “Secret Admirer” Valentines to Kurt. He tells Kurt that he has feelings for him, and Kurt actually turns him down with finesse, which I appreciated.

Oh and! If we’re talking about same-sex couples, I like Brittany and Santana together. Is that officially a thing? What’s going on there? When did that happen? I don’t know, but whatever, I like Santana when she’s happy and focusing her catty energy on people we can all agree are the enemies (like Sebastian the Warbler).

One last thing that I liked a lot: Mercedes’ rendition of “I Will Always Love You,” which they say was planned before Whitney Houston’s death made it incredibly relevant. (I believe them that it was already planned, since the entire episode is based on “the greatest love songs ever” and this one just fits right into the storyline.) They even let Mercedes sing the entire song, which doesn’t always happen, especially when someone’s doing a solo. She did a great job with it.

I realized that my intent in writing about this episode was to applaud it for being better than its mediocre brothers and sisters. Then I accidentally heaped more criticism on it. Oops. Oh well. Guess I should just watch something “better” that I know I’ll like more. Arrested Development is very good so far.

Categories
"Other people" Awesome Celebrities Memoir Nonfiction Theatre

An Expert at Life

Almost a year ago, I had this great experience with a wacky usher at the theatre. She inspired such quotes as “The carny life is a rough life,” and yes, Drew and I still say that to each other on occasion.

Well, she’s been at the theatre again the last couple times I’ve been there, and she’s been the most helpful usher in the entire world. That is sincere. She’s also been slightly less talkative, partly because she’s gone in and watched the show both times and so we’ve only had pre-show and intermission to chat, and it tends to get busy then.

But I did hear some stories last night, among them “Situational Comedy” and “My Time in Taxco.”

So, I wasn’t sure of the definition of situational comedy, so I Googled it. Then I got onto the wiki page for sitcoms. Sitcoms are popular in the US and the UK, but fare poorly in Australia and Canada. Some successful Australian sitcoms are My Name’s McGooley, What’s Yours? and Our Man in Canberra. Canadian sitcoms include Snow Job, Check It Out!, Mosquito Lake, and Not My Department.

I found this interlude amusing, and I still don’t know whether that counts as situation comedy. But I also don’t really care anymore.

She’s right, you know. This is not meant to be a swipe at Bay Area theatre, but you cannot see 7 shows in 5 days all over the Bay and not have them blend together. There needs to be more spacing out. For me, two per weekend is kind of my limit.

Everyone knows the exception is when you go to New York and have to cram a season’s worth of shows into a week. But really, that’s not ideal either. That was maybe the best thing about living there – seeing everything at a more leisurely pace, and waiting for discounts and free tickets to appear.

Anyway, those are your lessons for today. Canada and Australia aren’t as good at sitcoms as the US and the UK; and if you try to see too much in too little time, it all blends together. You’re welcome!

Categories
"Other people" Awesome Nonfiction

Pacific BioScis Laughs

Here’s something kind of crazy. In January I posted a picture (among other pictures) of a cardboard box with a weird “code” on it. Because I think I’m funny, I tagged that blog post with the “code” in the picture. I never thought about it again.

A couple days ago I was obsessively looking at my stats (hard to stop, even when it’s been a few days since writing something) and I noticed that someone had Googled that phrase and gotten here. I suddenly realized I should have Googled it (didn’t I enjoy finding out what a Gerchanovsky was?). So I did.

The first link listed was the LinkedIn page of this particular person. Oh, how I hate LinkedIn – does anyone else get nothing but notifications from them, with zero ways to turn them off?? – but I guess it’s good for something. Like discovering Gerchanovsky. Or this other guy. Whose name I’m deliberately not typing out.

Anyway, he’s an Executive Asst at the company that occupies the office building right next to ours. So I guess at some point, in all my stealing boxes from work to pack up the apartment, I managed to get a couple that belonged to them, in particular to him. And then I brought those boxes home, and then I made fun of his name.

But you know? I really really like when mysterious things become suddenly explained. Especially things you’ve forgotten about, that never really mattered that much anyway.

Categories
Awesome Children Drew Friends Nonfiction Sentiment Technology

A New Dominion

I’m a little competitive. In life, and in board games, and other types of games. Sometimes I get carried away.

I stopped playing Risk because of one terrible experience in the college dorms, when I formed an alliance with my friend Josh, and then in a few turns I broke it and invaded him. He gave me some kind of disappointed, “I can’t believe you did that,” look, and then he and the other two people we were playing went to dinner at the dining hall. But I was too upset about my treachery to eat, and I stayed in the dorms feeling bad about myself.

Later, I realized that was stupid, and it’s just a game. I had a late dinner. But I never forgot how swept up I got in that game of Risk.

Drew’s friends recently introduced him to the card game Dominion. One of his friends has this insane expansion pack, with like a million different types of cards. I’m not even going to try to explain the rules.

Drew taught it to me and Erin over the weekend, so we could play while we watched the 49ers game. (Could our lack of attention be what caused…? No, surely not.) The three of us played three rounds and each of us won once, which is nice and PC.

Last night, Drew and I played again and he won, but it was close. I think I like this game! I like the dimensions I’ve been introduced to so far, and I like the way there is some interaction between players but it’s not overly based on that. (Like Ticket to Ride, the other addictive board game brought to you by Drew’s friends.)

I guess what I want to say is…in this world of Words with Friends and Hanging with Friends and Scramble with Friends (Boggle! omg! so fun) and Tiny Wings and Qrank and Fruit Ninja and Temple Run and Harbor Master and Flight Control…it’s really nice to sit down in a single room with RL friends and play an actual board game.

Even if Drew mostly wins.

Categories
Drew Nonfiction Sleep talking

Sweet Sleep Talking 16

Last night I woke from a dead sleep, parched with thirst. I fumbled for the water bottle next to the bed and enjoyed that middle-of-the-night drink of water that is always so so much better than a daytime drink of water. Why is that?

I must have made some kind of noise, because Drew said, “Is that…is that water?”

I handed it over. He drank all but a mouthful (terrible habit) and then handed it back, and said, “Now hurry, hurry, go back to sleep. Don’t waste it.”

This morning when the alarm went off, I said, “It’s 6:00. Are you getting up?”

He said, “Yes, turn the alarm off.”

I said, “No, I’m setting it to snooze.”

To which he replied (sounding totally hurt), “Aw, come on! Don’t be like that.”

Then I think we both slept for another 9 minutes.

For all I know, he was actually awake for both of these. I mean they’re not THAT farfetched.