Category: “Other people”

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"Other people" Awesome Nonfiction

Pacific BioScis Laughs

Here’s something kind of crazy. In January I posted a picture (among other pictures) of a cardboard box with a weird “code” on it. Because I think I’m funny, I tagged that blog post with the “code” in the picture. I never thought about it again.

A couple days ago I was obsessively looking at my stats (hard to stop, even when it’s been a few days since writing something) and I noticed that someone had Googled that phrase and gotten here. I suddenly realized I should have Googled it (didn’t I enjoy finding out what a Gerchanovsky was?). So I did.

The first link listed was the LinkedIn page of this particular person. Oh, how I hate LinkedIn – does anyone else get nothing but notifications from them, with zero ways to turn them off?? – but I guess it’s good for something. Like discovering Gerchanovsky. Or this other guy. Whose name I’m deliberately not typing out.

Anyway, he’s an Executive Asst at the company that occupies the office building right next to ours. So I guess at some point, in all my stealing boxes from work to pack up the apartment, I managed to get a couple that belonged to them, in particular to him. And then I brought those boxes home, and then I made fun of his name.

But you know? I really really like when mysterious things become suddenly explained. Especially things you’ve forgotten about, that never really mattered that much anyway.

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"Other people" Being a girl Friends Memoir Writing

The Art of Bad Tipping

Over the holidays, some friends and I went out to dinner at a place that we have gone several times before. It was a late dinner, so although we had to wait for a table, the restaurant wasn’t full or bustling or anything. But the service was pretty terrible. We just kept waiting for things that should have appeared quicker. Things like a server, to take our orders.
 
Once we had our food (which was not delivered by the server, but by other food deliverers), one of us had to flag down a server (not our server) to ask for a spoon. About five minutes later, our server appeared with a spoon and said, “Oh, they already brought you one.” Then she wandered away.
 
My root beer mug sat empty, although the menu states in all caps, “FREE REFILLS,” through the last three-quarters of the hour we were there.
 
Once we were clearly finished eating, some bussers came and removed the plates…and then we sat and talked, which was nice, but that’s the appropriate point for a server to come back, ask if you’re interested in dessert or coffee or anything, and then drop off the check. We finally had to flag her down to ask for the check…and then again to pick up the check.
 
When it came time to write in a tip, the table was all in agreement that we should make some kind of statement with this optional dollar amount.
 
Which brings me to my main point – what’s the appropriate way to tip poorly, when you want to make it clear that you felt the service was below par? One person argued that we should leave a zero tip, because that leaves the clearest message. But I think that generally you should leave something so that they know that you chose to leave a small amount – and it’s not that you didn’t know about tipping, or maybe you meant to leave cash on the table or something.
 
I ended up leaving about 10%, which is pretty awful as far as tips go. But afterwards I was told unhesitatingly that I should have left a big fat zero. That 10% just makes it look like I am a bad tipper, but leaving no tip at all leaves the strongest message.
 
I’m really not sure where I stand on this. I usually tip pretty well, because I like the idea of positive reinforcement and I’m generally happy with the service. My generosity goes up if I frequent the business and if they start to recognize me. I don’t want to be the girl who never tips. And I remember working food service and how each time someone stuffed a dollar in the tip jar, it would just make my day.
 
I also hate to treat anyone badly if I don’t know their situation. Was our server just having an off night? Did her boyfriend just dump her? Was she up all night with some kind of home repair problem? Who knows? On the other hand, she is getting paid to do her job – that extra 20% of our table’s check isn’t guaranteed to her, and she knows that she has to work to get that optional money out of her customers.
 
She wasn’t overtly rude, and she didn’t make any mistakes. She didn’t blow cigarette smoke in our faces or bring us all the wrong meals. She was just absent the whole time. So what’s the best way to handle that TIP line on the credit card slip?
 
Retrospectively, I feel okay about that 10%. It’s not as harsh as leaving nothing, but I didn’t have to smilingly hand over a fistful of extra bills beyond what the meal cost. I hope she was just having a momentary lapse of concentration, and that today she is back in top form, slinging plates and scooping up gratuities.
 
I also hope that the next time we go back there, we’re seated in another section…something in the other room, perhaps? No? Well, we can just sit at the bar, thanks.

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"Other people" Children Drew Not awesome Theatre

Bring It On: The Musical

Last night Drew and I went to see Bring It On – the musical with the same title of, but not based on, the movie. It’s at the Orpheum Theatre in San Francisco, which has an awesome ceiling.

I have been equating Bring It On with Legally Blonde – both fluffy musicals about blonde girls with more depth than it first appears. I mean, that’s what I assumed.

Here’s what I have to say about the show:

I liked it. The music and lyrics were co-written by Lin-Manuel Miranda, who did In the Heights, which is one of my top 5 all time favorite shows. The direction and choreography (some of which was truly amazing) is by Andy Blankenbuehler, who also did the choreography for In the Heights. I was fascinated by some of the cheerleading stunts. I laughed at jokes. I enjoyed the songs. I understand that I’m not supposed to take any existential meaning from it. I would fully recommend the show to…anyone. I want the cast recording (which apparently doesn’t exist as of yet).

But.

Last night was the press opening (which we didn’t know) and they had papered the house with high school students. In the mezzanine there was a large group of students chanting and cheering before the show started. Right after 8:00 (the show started about 10 minutes late) a group of like 8 14-year-olds girls (and one androgynous 14-year-old) came in and sat down in the seats next to us. Here’s what I have to say about them:

I don’t think there was one moment that they all had their phones closed. They were constantly checking their phones, needing to fish things out of plastic bags wrapped in other plastic bags, bouncing in their seats and looking down into the mezz, and – the worst of all – straight up talking to each other.

After the first five minutes or so of this, Drew and I staringly got their attention and it might be true that I slashed my finger across my throat and said “KNOCK IT OFF” in a loud whisper. I spent the next five minutes worried that it was too harsh, but I needn’t have worried. They didn’t care. They continued to talk through the entire 2 and a half hour show.

At intermission and after the show, Drew and I were ranting about them, and as we calmed down he wondered whether we were just annoyed too easily. After all, all kinds of things are annoying: the car in front of us in line bouncing on their brake lights, the ushers’ lackadaisical, “Hey, no pictures…we just have a couple rules” as he walks away.

But I think no. I think that there are little everyday annoyances that you go, “This is so frustrating!” and then get over. And then there are the rude, unchaperoned, socially-unaware teenagers who literally don’t care that you’re sitting next to them staring at them because they are having a conversation during a show. A show that we a lot of people around them paid a lot of money to see.

On the way home, Drew and I vowed that our children will never behave that way. Because we will kill them if they do.

So okay. So Bring It On was great. But teenagers are not. But if you’re in SF and contemplating it – go see it! Super fun.

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"Other people" Writing

English major annoyances…

…I know I’m not alone in such things.

There’s this commercial on the radio right now. It begins with a woman’s voice:

“Saying the holidays are ‘a little stressful’ is like saying Kim [Kardashian] and Kris [Humphries] were ‘a match made in heaven.'”

Then crazy radio sound effects, then they tell you how you can win a trip to Disneyland which will alleviate some of your holiday stress and give you a much-needed vacation.

My major problem with this is that the two are not compared correctly. The implication is that saying the holidays are “a little stressful” is an understatement. But saying that Kim and Kris were a match made in heaven is not an understatement…it’s just flat-out wrong. (For anyone who doesn’t know – a) I’m jealous of you for avoiding this knowledge, and b) they were married for 72 days before filing for a divorce.)

I have heard this commercial a bunch of times – they’re pushing this Disney giveaway right now – and it’s getting annoying. One of the writers was asleep on the job. There are other ways to sneak in a Kardashian (or any pop culture) reference, if that’s your main goal.

Also, I’m jealous and want to win a Disney vacation.

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"Other people" Children Nonfiction Not awesome Self improvement

It’s Either This, or the Plague

You’ve probably heard that Earth recently welcomed its 7 billionth person. Not of all time. But at one time. You’ve also probably heard that in 1950, the world population was about 2.5 billion. That’s a 4.5 billion people growth in 60 years. Perhaps then you’ve also heard that the UN projected world population of 2050 is between 7.5 and 10.5 billion.

Where are these people going to go? I ask myself. Also, Is this going to trigger Nature to do something to help control population growth, a la Stephen King’s The Stand? And finally, How did we let this happen??

Well…I think I know how. In many parts of the world, thanks to society and forward-thinking and liberation, we have very specific views on sex and childbirth. Namely, that both are A-OK no matter what your status in life – age, marital status, finances, etc.

This is where I’m going to tread semi-carefully, because I definitely know people who have gotten pregnant out of wedlock and who have loved and cherished their babies and raised them up (or are in the process of raising them up) to be decent, upstanding, hardworking people.

BUT. The way I understand it – and I wasn’t there; I could be wrong – in the 1950s and before, you just didn’t start having sex with your boyfriend when you were 15 and then accidentally get knocked up before you graduated high school and then keep the baby because you can make your own choices about your own body. But these days…that’s par for the course. Now take that one scenario and multiply it by a billion. Then multiply that again for all those second children that those people just have to have because they love their first one so much. And plus, you know, they already have the first one…

It gets glamorized, being a young mother, on shows like Teen Mom and True Life. Film crews romanticize having a ton of children, on Table for 12, 19 Kids and Counting (don’t get me started on Michelle Duggar being pregnant with #20), Raising Sextuplets, etc. Moms who get artificially knocked up with multiples that come in potentially unsafe droves become celebrities – Kate Gosselin, Nadia Sulemon.

The TV personalities – they aren’t really any of my business. I don’t watch those shows (well…I used to watch Jon & Kate Plus 8 back when it was innovative and sweet) and I ignore the “celebs.” But then I start thinking about them in terms of the population growth, and it just irritates me.

There’s something I like about the idea that each couple on earth gets 2 kids – one to replace each of them. But if one couple is out there having 8, or 12, or 20 kids – well, that’s just greedy.

And the 20-somethings out there, each with their own kid or two, will one day meet and fall in love with someone, who also has his or her own kids. And then they’ll come together and have to have more kids, as proof of their love…or of their total inability to grasp the concept of birth control.

What annoys me is that I want a family someday soon. I don’t want 12 or 15 or 20 kids. I just want one or two. And I resent that here I sit, thinking about the world population and wanting to do my part to reduce growth and help the human race avoid apocalypse – but oops! Here’s one more 19-year-old on Facebook, spilling her guts about accidentally getting pregnant. Or oops! One more 40-something celebrity pretending it’s just an unexpected blessing, when really she went through a bunch of medical treatments, because she just had to have a fourth child.

I think we – as a society – need to get back that some of that healthy shame about sex. It needs to not be totally acceptable for 14-year-olds to be doing it, and maybe some people should get shipped off to visit their spinster aunt to cover up their pregnancy, or something. (Cross my heart, this is hypothetical.)

On the other hand, I’m also advocating for more accessible birth control – possibly just pumped into the water? Because even in my heightened state of anger here (yeah, I think I’ve actually reached the anger stage), I know that I can’t stop a couple billion teenagers from losing themselves in the moment, or however we’re going to justify this. (But seriously, pumping something into the water – that’s not a bad idea.)

I’m not saying this only out of a selfish place. I’m just thinking of the human race and what’s best for us. Surely we don’t want to bring on a plague or an epidemic or something, just because everyone forgot to buy condoms? And also somehow forgot to use a backup method? (Use a backup method, people!)

The way to fix all the world’s problems can be summed up into, “Everyone take some responsibility.” Everyone: just take some freaking responsibility. Lest we reach a point in society where the government just randomly (?) sterilizes a percentage of the population.

Parents – don’t give your 14-year-old the freedom to start having sex.
TLC – stop showing shows that promote getting as much use out of your uterus as you possibly can: just because you have one doesn’t mean it needs to be in constant rotation.
Kids – save yourselves, if not for marriage, at least for love. And if you can’t do that, then get thee to Planned Parenthood.

I’m just trying to ensure space for a couple of my own offspring one day, okay?

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"Other people" cars Drew Family Memoir Not awesome

The Family That Does Roadside Maintenance Together…

I left work about 20 minutes early today. I had reached a natural stopping point in my workload, and I thought, What a lovely, productive Monday it’s been. Drew was waiting at home with sandwiches for dinner, and Erin was to be coming over later for some Game of Thrones. Wonderful.

As I drove home, I called my mom. I didn’t call her back yesterday, and I wanted to catch up and discuss coming home for a visit. While on the phone with her, I mentioned I was in the car and that it had been shaking just lately, and what did she think that was? She suggested something to do with bearings. I agreed.

I continued my drive home, which, for once, was relatively low-traffic. I was pretty happy. Mellow conversation with mom, and, like I said, the promise of sandwiches.

Suddenly, a large low sound from the rear left side of the car, and then insane thunking noises. I said, “Mom? I have to go. Um…I have to call you back,” and hung up while moving swiftly through three lanes of traffic and pulling off on the very soft shoulder.

A tire blowout! That explains a) the shaking, and possibly b) the random noise that Jonathan and I heard last Friday while we were driving around doing work errands. We checked all four tires and couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary, so we finally decided that something had fallen out of the sky (or from an overpass) and that was the noise.

But now it appeared that it was a tire problem even then. And I really didn’t drive the car at all since Friday afternoon, which I guess is lucky.

Drew came and changed the tire – but when we got in our cars to leave, he found that his battery was dead! I backed up my car level with his to give him a jump.

As I backed up, I ran over a sprinkler pipe sticking out of the ground, and it made the most godawful scraping sound. I pulled forward again – cue second scraping sound. Jeez louise.

We hooked up the jumper cables and did our best to get his engine to start, but no dice. He called his dad – who knows everything about cars – to ask for advice, but there was really nothing he could tell us over the phone. So then we both sat in my car and waited for his dad to show up.

“On my 280 commute, there’s always at least one car pulled over with its hazards on,” I said. “And every time I see that car, I’m thankful it’s not me. But I guess sometimes you have to take one for the team.”

“Yeah,” Drew said, “but if this is the worst thing that happens to us, then that’s pretty good.”

Luckily, I was very close to home when my tire blew.

When Drew’s dad showed up, he somehow managed to find the sprinkler head in the dirt behind my car, even though it was pitch black out there and practically in the bushes. “Just leave it,” I said, and he laughed at me.

He hooked up Drew’s battery to a magic portable battery and got the car started in seconds. Then we packed away everything and all three pulled onto the freeway to head for home.

On the way, we passed a car on the side of the road, with its hazards on. A minute later I got a frantic call asking, “That wasn’t you, was it??” But I was practically home, safe on my sturdy little spare tire.

So I guess tomorrow I’m making a pre-work Firestone run. And I guess I’m forking over the money for a new tire. And I feel grateful that the shaking mystery is solved. And that all three of us got off the pitch black side of the freeway safely.

What I learned: The best thing to do in an emergency is remain calm. I should probably just change my own tire, rather than making someone come all the way out and drain his battery to do it for me. And stuff probably doesn’t fall out of the sky to cause weird noises with your car.

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"Other people" Being a girl Endings Self improvement Sentiment Theatre

Working hard, or hardly working

You know what’s underrated? The old-fashioned business letter.

I remember learning the format for these things in keyboarding class in high school. I sort of loved making my own letterhead (mine always had a strong Phantom of the Opera theme) and typing up important letters to important people.

We don’t really get to do that very much anymore.

I mean, even though I try to keep my emails nice and professional, I still get tons of work emails from people, using little punctuation or capitalization, and ending with that ubiquitous “Sent from my iPhone.” Like that’s supposed to excuse this mediocre attempt at communication:

“i see no thank you i do not have transportation but im sure other students will jump on this offer”

Also embarrassing is the email signature incorporating some song lyric or “Chinese proverb” that’s not really a Chinese proverb at all.

I got an email from someone the other day – it ended like so:

I’ve heard it said that people come into our
lives for a reason, bringing something we must
learn, and we are led to those who help us most
to grow, (if we let them) and we help them in return.

Also? No credit on that. So…plagiarism? (To avoid plagiarism myself, that’s from Wicked.)

Meanwhile, I gleefully typed this up this morning:

Not saying it’s perfect, but at least it’s not embarrassing. Simple pleasures…but pleasures nonetheless!

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"Other people" Books

At the library…

Last week, Jonathan and I were in Borders on University in Palo Alto, picking through the few things left. I actually picked up some good stuff – a Dean Koontz book from the 80s (love them!), Laurie Notaro’s Spooky Little Girl, an Augusten Burroughs I haven’t read yet, and It’s All Relative, by Wade Rouse – a memoir that Jen Lancaster told me to read. 80% off rocks – although I am sorry that Borders has to close.

Anyway, I saw this on the mystery shelf: The Chocolate Cat Caper. And I took a picture of it, and made fun of it in my head.

I’m sure you know what I mean.

Like, I totally believe there’s a market somewhere of older women, who just love chocolate, cats, and mysteries. I mean, I guess I like all those things, and I’m not that old. But I just don’t think that you have to make it that easy for people to make fun of you.

Psshhh…Chocolate Cat Caper.

So then yesterday, I was killing time between the matinee and the evening show, at the Mountain View public library. I wandered over to the mysteries shelf, and checked out the Agatha Christies. I picked up The Pale Horse because I’ve never read it. The main character’s name is Thomasina, which I thought was funny, or something.

I wandered through a few more aisles, and then saw One Hundred Girls’ Mother, “A Women of the West Novel” by Lenore Carroll, lying out of place on a shelf. the cover looked interesting so I opened it up to read the inside flap of the jacket, and it also features a woman named Thomasina! So I thought it was a sign, and I took that one too.

Then I saw Tales of the City, by Armistead Maupin, which I totally have been wanting to read, so I grabbed that too. Pretty excited about that one.

Anyway, then I saw this series of books back in the mystery section!

A whole series of Chocolate Mystery things! That is even funnier than I originally thought it was. And that’s the whole point of this post.

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"Other people" Family

It’s a California thing.

Recently I saw an aunt and uncle who I haven’t seen in ages. They live in Washington. They drove down to California. When I said, “Oh wow, how long is that?” he said, “It’s about 900 miles.” And I was like, I don’t really know what that means, even though it is a totally appropriate and probably more accurate answer to my question.

I’ve heard it’s “a California thing” to give distance in terms of time (it takes about 3 hours) and not miles (it’s like 130 miles). Honestly, I don’t even know how many miles away things are, but I can tell you how long it’ll take to get there. Well, I know my work is about 30 miles from my house, but that’s only because I gauge how many more trips I have before I’ll have to get gas.

It was a lovely family visit, by the way.

Anyway. I’m curious.

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"Other people" Awesome Memoir Tomato Work

New York’s Weirdest Habit, And My Special Spinach Salad

Tonight was kind of a frustrating night at work. It had nothing to do with my own co-workers, for which I am grateful. However, it does have to do with people I have to interact with on a regular basis, so some of these issues will come up again. And probably again.

But, it’s come to my attention over and over again lately that I can’t really keep any secrets in this forum. That’s partly because I keep linking my name with this blog. So I guess it’s my fault. This is about 90% blessing and 10% curse. Sometimes I wish I could just bitch about something or someone – but I can’t.

That being said, in 2007 I worked at this deli-type place in New York. Every week we had a “special” salad, and one week, I convinced the owner to name the special after me! Here’s proof:

Anyway, I worked as a cashier, and took orders over the phone. It was often an annoying job. Also, it was way less fulfilling than my job now. Except I did get free food everyday. And I often took extra food home for Drew. We didn’t pay for very much food during the 8 months I worked there.

One day I made a list of all the things customers did at the register that drove me crazy. I have carried that list around – inexplicably – for 4 years. Since I can’t very well talk about all the things that frustrate me now, here is a list of annoying things that customers used to do.

  • Leaving trash on the counter for me to throw away
  • Setting things down and then going to get more stuff – especially when there’s a line behind them
  • Waiting until I’ve bagged all their food to say they want to stay
  • Wanting me to bag their drinks*
  • When I say “Is that all?” and they say “Yes. And also…”
  • Digging for change while I wait, and then they don’t have any change
  • A guy who only has a $5 bill out to pay for a tuna sandwich (it’s $5.75 before tax)
  • Paying with a credit card for a small soup**
  • Talking on their cell phone, then acting all “why are you interrupting my call?” when I try to talk to them
  • People asking for stupid things (forks, napkins, etc)***
  • Handing me money all folded up
  • Throwing their money on the counter
  • Giving me awkward change (like if their total is $11.65, and they give me $20.05, so their change is $8.40 – fail)
  • Looking pained while doing any of the above

*This still baffles me. The weirdest New York thing I discovered, was that they put your drinks into a bag for you. Not just your bottle of Snapple – but your coffee in a styrofoam cup, or your fountain diet Coke. Drew and I discovered this in Brooklyn, when one day out of desperation for normalcy we walked about 40 blocks to the closest McDonalds, and the bored cashier put our Sprites into a bag and handed them to us. We were all like, WTF is that about? But they do it there all the time! It’s so weird! Please don’t put my coffee into a bag – if it’s too hot to carry I’ll take a sleeve or a double cup…

**I am guilty of doing this now. So I can’t really complain anymore.

***I’m not sure what this is supposed to mean. In retrospect, it’s okay if they ask for forks. I think it’s stupid because they just watched me put a fork and napkins into their bag.

There. I feel better. /rant