Category: Religion

Yesterday was the wedding of our friends Laurie and Dale.  The thing about weddings is, no matter how prepared I think I am for them (for instance, having been at the rehearsal), I always get emotional.  There’s just something about the intimacy of seeing the ritual of two people promise themselves to each other.  When Laurie entered I kept looking from her face to Dale’s face to her face.  It was like they didn’t even know anyone else was there.  In a good way.

I did the Scripture reading, which Laurie approached me about a couple months ago.  Initially, I was a mix of honored to be asked, and terrified to be in front of all those people, and I was honest with her about that.  But I also know that what the bride wants, goes, and I was honest with her about that too.  She was honest with me about appreciating my honesty, and repeated her request.  I worried about the reading, especially as it got closer, because I’m just not a performer, or even a read-out-loud-to-other-people-er.  But I kept the verse forefront in my mind and practiced it when Drew wasn’t home, and just concentrated on generic public speaking tips: take a deep breath before you begin; keep your feet flat on the ground (when I get nervous I tend to roll them to the outside edges); read slower than you think you need to.

Some people might laugh at me because I know this is kind of an irrational fear – but it was a challenge for me. ( Hello, do I not still have dreams where I have to take an actor’s place onstage and it ends up being  just awful?)

But I am very glad I did it.  I was very flattered and honored to be a part of their ceremony and their special day, and I would have really regretted it if I had chickened out and had to watch someone else take my place.  So, Laurie, if/when you read this, thank you for asking me!  I hope you guys liked it.  (Although, if I remember correctly, when you’re up there in the dress and the makeup with the jewelry and the guy, it’s really hard to focus on anything else.)

At the reception, we were at a table with 3 friends of Laurie’s we didn’t know (but I think they traveled from afar), and 3 friends of Laurie’s that we did know, plus a boyfriend and a fiance.  Ten people…and only eight little pats of butter.  Luckily the travel-from-afar friends didn’t seem to care about the butter, and the people on the opposite side of the table didn’t even see the butter.  So there wasn’t a scene.  But there could have been.  Joe P (who we moved to New York with oh so long ago) and Drew and I made up the plot to a blockbuster film that I think could be a box office hit:  it revolves around the fastest, slickest pickpocket in the world, who goes around to weddings and sneaks the garter off the bride when no one is paying attention.  Then, when the groom goes to get it for the garter toss, there’s no garter there!  That’s when the pickpocket casually walks by and drops the garter in the bride’s lap.  The movie begins at the wedding of Luke Wilson and Dakota Fanning, and she’s got the last garter in the world.  The pickpocket is played by Colin Farrell, possibly doing an accent, but not Irish.  He and the bride originally hate each other, but by the middle of the movie have fallen in love.  At the end you find out that Luke Wilson, who has turned out to be a drinker, didn’t sign all the papers correctly and so they’re not technically married.  Then she’s free to marry to the pickpocket, who turns in his…tool that pickpockets use, and vows to walk the straight and narrow.  I may be forgetting something, but this is the gist.

At one point Joe P asked Drew and me what we were thinking while watching Laurie and Dale make their way around to each table to say hello.  He asked if we were reminiscing about our wedding.  Well, I don’t know how you can go to a wedding and not reminisce about your own, especially when it was fairly recent.  I just remember how surreal it was: an event that we had been planning for and paying for, for almost a year, and it was over in a day.  And it was a trip to see people from all different parts of our lives together in one room, sometimes at one table.  And from everyone – from our parents down to the computer teacher at my high school whose class I was never actually in – there was just an incredible amount of joy. 

I feel like, even though this year has been rough with the job searching, scraping and saving, and not always knowing how we’re going to be able to pay rent, that joy has stayed with us.  I’ve heard that the first year of marriage is actually pretty hard, because there are bank accounts to be combined and new rules to be established, but the last 8 months has felt easier in a lot of ways than the 5 years that preceded it.  Or if not easier, then happier.  Surely, more joyful.

So, while I will forget the anxiety of always feeling like there was no money (and I am assuming Drew agrees), there has been plenty this year to make up for it, that I won’t forget.  Here’s a little jewel I’ve been saving up:

There’s a path down by the ocean by the Pacifica pier, and you walk out parallel to the beach for maybe a quarter mile, and then up a staircase to the top of a crest, where you can pretend to push each other off into the ocean.  This spring, on top of this crest, hidden back in the grass, were three large puddles filled with tadpoles.  We checked on them a few times over a couple weeks, getting nervous as the water levels went down and the tadpoles didn’t seem to diminish in number.  We encouraged them to sprout legs and leave their overcrowded quarters. 
          One morning, Drew got up before me, and I dozed until I felt him sit down near my feet.  “It’s raining,” he said.  “Mmmmmm,” I said.  Then he said, “It’s good for the tadpoles.”  And I thought, Awwww.

I wouldn’t trade that kind of relationship for years of paid rent.  I’m not sure I’m saying that right, but the cheesy theme has probably rung true, so I’m going to shut up.