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I thought that by the time I was an adult, I’d have a handle on certain things. Easy things. Things that shouldn’t be hard to figure out. Things like what flavor of toothpaste I like.

I like Crest, and I like Crest Pro-Health…at least I think I do. But without fail, every time I go to buy toothpaste, I stand there trying to figure out what type of mint I got last time and didn’t like, or what was that kind I got that one time that I really liked? The names of them don’t help at all: Fresh Mint, Clean Mint, Fresh Clean Mint (not making that up), Herbal Mint, Arctic Fresh…but which one do I like??

I just saw they have Cinnamon now. Maybe I would like that.

I don’t get why this is so hard for me. I’m a grown-up. Why can’t I keep this straight?

I wonder if Drew has a favorite flavor. I’ve never asked him. This strikes me as the kind of thing he wouldn’t care about. But I could be wrong.

I would be remiss to not begin by saying that Drew has been amazing lately. He has been incredibly supportive and encouraging, even though we both know that as we get closer to the arrival of baby #2, things are just getting slower and more challenging (for me), and more amped up and threenager (with B), and then pretty soon (like very soon), there’s going to be a newborn in the mix. Drew is the only one who doesn’t have some kind of biological excuse to be crazy, and he’s been taking on a lot.

So I just now (like 20 minutes ago) finished my third term of grad school, and I can say now that I think it was great – I feel like I learned A LOT in the last 10 weeks. But this end was harrowing and it was unfair that it fell on Fourth of July weekend. There has been a lot of socializing in the past couple weeks, and it eats into my homework time, which has been making me panicky. BUT, I just submitted my final papers for both classes, and so everything is done.

We did take some time yesterday to do Fourth of July things – like all wearing flag tshirts together. (But then Drew and I both changed before we went out.)

B has been waking up super early the past several weeks (like pre-6am), so he gets tired in the middle of the day, and sometimes, like yesterday, he takes super long naps, then is extra cuddly afterwards. It’s hard to complain about that.

We took some selfies, and went to Target.

When we came home, some neighbors were doing fireworks outside with their kid. I took B outside to watch, and our neighbor (actually I’m not sure, I’ve never seen him before) gave us 2 boxes of poppers and 2 boxes of sparklers. We used all the poppers, and then Drew and I hemmed and hawed and decided to try one sparkler. I definitely had a death grip on B the whole time, but he was really cute doing it.

After this one, I got him to trade me the rest of the sparklers for some bubbles, which are much less nervewracking.

Then, when it was nearly bedtime, B went to the fridge and got out this apple and just started eating it. We were both like, Well, it’s an apple, so that’s fine. But then he proceeded to eat the entire thing. And I mean, the entire thing. Like a pony.

It took him so long to eat this one apple he was up later than usual, but he was so cute most of yesterday. It’s easy to let him stay up later when he’s eating whole apples and reading the ABC book and generally just being adorable.

So, it was a great Fourth of July. And I still have half a day left of this weekend in which to take a nap! So, that’s my cue, bye.

Today is my grandma’s birthday! Happy birthday, Grandma!

Here is one of my favorite throwback pictures of her:

Isn’t that a gorgeous photo? I don’t even know what year it is or what beach it’s taken at, but I just love how classy it is.

Recently I was given a bunch of stuff that’s been in storage in her garage, and one of the things is a folder with an envelope of negatives and the contact sheet to go with them. It’s a bunch of photos I’ve never seen of my grandparents, aunt, uncle, and parents, plus me as a toddler, at our house. It’s kind of cool because I don’t have a lot of memories of big gatherings there – we usually went to my grandparents’ house for holidays and stuff. So to see everyone in “my” back yard is special.

I have been looking for a place that will develop the photos for me, but did you know that photo developing (well, negative scanning, really) has become an obsolete art? I found a place down the peninsula that will do it, but I just have to get there. And remember to bring the negatives with me. Hopefully next week.

Incidentally, my grandma and I share a birthday. It’s always been one of those things that made me feel special and extra close to her. A week or so ago, my mom told me that she made that happen with her mind…that I was due on June 15 but she thought, Oh, if I can wait 2 more days they’ll share a birthday. (Pregnancy was apparently different back then, haha.) At any rate, I’m glad she managed it!

Happy birthday, Grandma! I hope you have a wonderful, blessed day!

We are Game of Thrones fanatics around here, and this past weekend was episode 8 (of 10), so this season is getting really good. On Sunday, B was playing with this set of castle furniture he got from his godmother Erin a long time ago, and he held up this piece to me and said, “Whass that?”

Sometimes I get really excited about teachable moments, so I go into this like, “Ooh, it’s a THRONE,* and it’s like this really special seat for kings and queens to sit on when they rule” kind of monologue. After which B looks at it again, says, “Zat’s a chair,” and drops it to go for the next interesting thing.

Take that, Westeros!

*I mean truthfully, I just think this is the throne, it’s like the throniest thing in the set, but it doesn’t look anything like the iron throne, which is okay, but I guess what I’m saying is I might have been mistaken in calling it a throne, but it doesn’t really matter, because he “emperor’s new clothes”ed me anyway.

While we were in Lakeport a couple weeks ago, I mentioned something about how I wanted to get some ABC cookie cutters. (Kinda silly since do you know how complicated making roll-out cookies is?? I never do it.) But my mom said she had some, and she went to find them.

She didn’t have the ABCs, but she had a set of numbers, which is also cool…and she also came back with this box:

I saw this box and it was a huge immediate blast from the past. I feel like my first real, conscious memory (unlike the vague “feelings” I have about being at my grandparents’ house in Van Nuys before they moved to Northern California) was standing in the kitchen looking at these cookie cutters, and being delighted to have them for my very own. I have the notion that they came from the SF Exploratorium although that’s probably wrong.

But look at the back of this box. That is some juvenile handwriting there. That has to put at least a “no later than” date on it.

Memory is a funny thing, because it just goes, doesn’t it? Not even just your first memories, but then also like, what did I spend all my time doing in high school? (Hanging out with my bff?) When was the first time I ever met Drew? (A class, I think?) What was B like in those newborn days? (I remember him sleeping a lot, and us stressing over his weight gain.) How do I not remember these things that you’d think would be kind of important…?

B has gotten really into spotting fire hydrants, which is interesting for me because I never really paid any attention to them. But they’re all over. (I guess that’s a good thing.) They also come in a surprising range of colors.

We were driving home from somewhere, and talking about all the fire hydrants, when Drew mentioned something about “the blue reflectors.” I didn’t know what he was talking about, so he started pointing out the blue reflectors, just off of the center line, every time there was a fire hydrant on the side of the road.

I have noticed these reflectors before, but accepted them as…what? Nothing? Sometimes I deliberately run over them because it’s satisfying to aim for something and feel that bump-bump. But now that I know what they represent…I see them everywhere. I feel like a whole new world of city planning has opened up for me.

Am I the only person who didn’t know the purpose of the blue reflectors??

This week was the last week of my second term of school, so when I had pretty much wrapped up everything by this weekend, I was eager to get all of us out of the house. Drew suggested we go visit my parents, since we haven’t been up there in awhile, and the weather in Lake County was supposed to be sunny and in the 80s. So yesterday we drove up there for a quick random visit (we were only there for about 5 hours).

It was so nice to see everything again and see what my parents have been doing to their house and yard. B was perfectly happy to play in their garden storage area, which has a gravel floor, and practice scooping and pouring (and dumping and mess-making). I had been thinking a lot about the county park which is nearby their house, so after lunch we all drove over there to check it out.

The play structure I remember is gone, but replaced with one that’s more plastic-based (and probably safer). My dad was pushing B on the swing and B said “Awesome! Is AMAZING!” So cute. My dad said, “Has he been on a swing before?” We were like “YES all the time.”

Then, since the lake is RIGHT THERE, we couldn’t resist letting him go in a little bit. I walked in with him and he splashed and picked up rocks and algae. He kept saying “Go out there” and pointing out to the lake. Next time we’ll have to take him swimming for reals.

We went back to the house and he drew with my parents on a chalkboard for awhile, and tried to get close to the cats (good luck) and played with blocks and letter magnets. We left right before 4 when he started melting down from not napping. Drove all the way home with him chatting in the back and not napping. He told us a bunch of times he “had fun with Grandpa and Grandma.”

5+ hours in the car? Totally #worthit!

Movie: Chicken Little

Release year: 2005

You’ve never seen this one either, have you? Well, it was just okay. It’s all over the place: it’s an underdog story, a “how can I get my dad to be proud of me” story, a reworked familiar fable – and then halfway through turns into an action adventure with aliens invading, sidekicks becoming useful because of their flaws, and a pseudo-love story crammed in at the end. Not exactly cohesive, and I’m not sure anyone working on the movie knew what they were going for.

I feel like there were a couple things I laughed at, but I can’t even remember them anymore.

Sorry, Chicken Little! You’re a blip. (A blip with only 36% on Rotten Tomatoes. Yikes.)

At least B enjoyed reading your credits!

All right, so it’s just a short play in a night of short plays, and we only have 3 rehearsals. But still! I’m back in rehearsal! And this time – I’m the playwright!

Tonight was our first, and while I was nervous leading up to it, I was also excited. And hearing them table read something I wrote – and actually feeling good about that thing I wrote – gave me a total artistic high.

I’m making too much of it. It is so NOT a thing. But it’s a NOT thing that I am involved in, and it feels so great.

Writing has always been a super private thing for me. I’ve been shy about showing it to people and I’ve been very aware of whether something is for public consumption. I’ve got a ton of private blog posts because I’m just insecure about them. But I guess that’s kind of the point of art – you gotta open yourself up. And some people are going to not like it.

I can see becoming addicted to this. I can see wanting to chase it. I just have to actually make it happen, I guess.