Last night Drew fell asleep while I started rereading The Hunger Games.
After about half an hour, I switched off the light, which startled/terrified him, after which, he told me:
Drew: I would have killed myself.
Me: No…don’t kill yourself.
Drew: If I’d been in the a’s.
Me: The what? (Thinking, “the baseball team?”)
Drew: The 80s. I’d be so scared. Things just happen, and then (muffled, muffled, muffled) and you just do.
At work we recently hired this woman, who everyone agrees rocks. She happens to be (newly) married to a guy who also works in our office, and who also rocks. Yesterday as I was parking, they pulled up across from me and parked. And I sat there with my head cocked, thinking about what it would be like to work right down the hall from your spouse.
I guess it would be fun…? But, on the downside, I feel like it would also be an infringement on personal space. What if you’re having one of those days where you’re annoyed by everything and everyone? Do you have to hide it from them? What if you have some story of work confrontation – but rather than going home and telling it, clearly skewed so you are the victim/victor, your spouse knows the whole thing because it’s their co-worker than locked horns with you?
On the upside, carpooling. So…there’s that.
Speaking of working with your spouse, two of my Facebook friends, who happen to be married to each other, are working on a show somewhere. She is directing and he is acting in it. He keeps posting things about how awesome of a director she is. That’s sweet, but also makes me cringe. Too close. Too much interaction. What if you were bickering on the way to rehearsal, and now you have to direct how your spouse is supposed to be acting with their play-spouse? I don’t know, man.
I guess that is extra cringey for me because I have residual trauma regarding directing. When I think about it, but put myself in a stage manager role instead of a director role, it’s not that bad. I guess I could do that.
Thoughts? Working with your spouse? My parents have been teachers in the same district forever, but at least they’re at different schools…sometimes.
I might hate CDs. I feel like they multiply, and they are everywhere in our apartment. But when do I play CDs? Occasionally, in the car. But why play a CD when I have all my music on my ipod? The CD in my car player right now is disc 1 of the PBS “Broadway – The American Musical” 5-disc series. It’s been there for months. I never listen to it. Not sure why I even picked disc 1 and stuck it in there. I should switch to a different one. (For a full listing of all the songs on each disc, click here.)
The down side of going through all your childhood stuff is that, if you’re a child of the same time period that I am, you have collected a lot of CDs. A lot of factory CDs, but also, a lot of CDs with unfamiliar handwriting – The Rocky Horror Show, or Poe’s Haunted, or even non-music CDs, like Mario’s Into The Woods Pics. It’s actually a relief when I flip a disc over and discover that it’s scratched beyond repair, and I can just toss it. Otherwise, I have to sit and think about whether I need a CD version of Poe’s Haunted, when I have the entire thing in digital form.
When I Google “recycled CDs,” I find this website telling me ways I can use old CDs for fun crafts. Here is an excerpt from that site:
Others have used old CDs to make disco balls, sun catchers, wreaths, mosaics, mobiles, party invitations and even bird treats — just coat the disc with peanut butter or bacon grease, dip it in bird seed, attach it to a tree with yarn and watch the birds flock to your yard.
Um, yuck. For some reason, the idea of using a CD for a bird feeder – covered in bacon grease, no less! – just grosses me out. What’s wrong with the good old-fashioned bird feeder, using a pine cone coated in peanut butter and seed?
Anyway. For now I’ve just been kind of stockpiling the CDs that I can’t bring myself to throw away, and chucking the ones that I can justify.
Future generations: You are so lucky (or, potentially, so unlucky in some way that I can’t even fathom) to have everything be digital. It’s so much easier, and you don’t constantly feel like you’re being wasteful. Although it makes me nervous to have everything just be floating around in cyberspace, I can usually tamp down the urge to print out everything and store it in a box for 12 years.
In a crossword puzzle yesterday, a clue was “a button on a cassette player” and the answer was “rewind.” Do you even know what that means, people who were born after 1995?? (A coworker suggested we call them “Generation Text.”)
PS. This is even crazier – I found this:
If I hadn’t already found the bound paper version of this Nanowrimo, that I had printed at Kinko’s back in 2003 (before it was Kinko’s/FedEx), the discovery of this floppy disk would have thrilled me, while also panicking me, as I have no idea where I could even put this thing.
As it is, I tossed it in the trash as well.
So long, past.
Late at night is when I get my bursts of inspiration for cleaning. Tonight I went through two boxes of stuff my parents gifted me with months ago…and pared it down to the throwaways, the donatables, and the keepsies.
Example throwaway: notebooks from college classes filled with notes about the Puritans and protest theatre. (Two different classes.) Nothing really of note to keep here. Although Drew pointed out my copious margin notes: “Syche + Drew” and then one page where I apparently decided to practice signing my first name with his last name. As we pondered this, I said, “Whoops!” and he said “GAWD, you’re obsessed with me or something.”
Example donatable: Pretty tin box, that I remember always having, but don’t have any specific attachment to, and which I will be much happier giving away than moving two more times.
Example keepsie: A diary I kept around the time I was 5 and 6. My bffk (best friend for kindergarten) (well, sort of…I mean I guess she was my best girl friend, but I’d still say my two best bffks were boys) actually went through and wrote “I love Kelly” on most of the pages (she’s Kelly), but some of the pages still have my original journal entries. I present you with two of them:
And from later…I would say around 4th or 5th grade:
That being said, today I tried out a set of hot rollers that a friend gave me, and they worked great! And I spent much time looking in the mirror and admiring my pretty hair, and taking pictures of myself. So don’t worry about me, I’ve got plenty of self-confidence now. A generous amount. Maybe even too much?
Ah, the joys of being a girl. 
This happens out of nowhere:
Drew: Where?
Me: What?
Drew sits up and picks up Practical Magic off of my bookshelf.
Drew: Should I have been saving the other letters?
Me: What letters?
Drew: From…never mind.
Drew puts down Practical Magic and lies back down.
Drew: It’s not real anyway.
I live a Jekyll and Hyde type of life: working down the peninsula in the heat and sun, and then coming home to the thick fog and thicker socks. It gets confusing – especially when my cute work outfit looks ridiculous on the walk from the car into my apartment. I mean, I like it – it’s like the best of both worlds.
I can also be a little moody, so I guess the Jekyll and Hyde applies in that way, too.
But that’s probably where the metaphor ends.
Tonight was kind of a frustrating night at work. It had nothing to do with my own co-workers, for which I am grateful. However, it does have to do with people I have to interact with on a regular basis, so some of these issues will come up again. And probably again.
But, it’s come to my attention over and over again lately that I can’t really keep any secrets in this forum. That’s partly because I keep linking my name with this blog. So I guess it’s my fault. This is about 90% blessing and 10% curse. Sometimes I wish I could just bitch about something or someone – but I can’t.
That being said, in 2007 I worked at this deli-type place in New York. Every week we had a “special” salad, and one week, I convinced the owner to name the special after me! Here’s proof:
Anyway, I worked as a cashier, and took orders over the phone. It was often an annoying job. Also, it was way less fulfilling than my job now. Except I did get free food everyday. And I often took extra food home for Drew. We didn’t pay for very much food during the 8 months I worked there.
One day I made a list of all the things customers did at the register that drove me crazy. I have carried that list around – inexplicably – for 4 years. Since I can’t very well talk about all the things that frustrate me now, here is a list of annoying things that customers used to do.
*This still baffles me. The weirdest New York thing I discovered, was that they put your drinks into a bag for you. Not just your bottle of Snapple – but your coffee in a styrofoam cup, or your fountain diet Coke. Drew and I discovered this in Brooklyn, when one day out of desperation for normalcy we walked about 40 blocks to the closest McDonalds, and the bored cashier put our Sprites into a bag and handed them to us. We were all like, WTF is that about? But they do it there all the time! It’s so weird! Please don’t put my coffee into a bag – if it’s too hot to carry I’ll take a sleeve or a double cup…
**I am guilty of doing this now. So I can’t really complain anymore.
***I’m not sure what this is supposed to mean. In retrospect, it’s okay if they ask for forks. I think it’s stupid because they just watched me put a fork and napkins into their bag.
There. I feel better. /rant
Last night, while driving home from Redding, Megan and I found ourselves tearing down the freeway at 70 mph, somewhere near Benicia, around 11:00pm. A car pulled up next to us and honked, and when Megan looked over, the driver made several “call me” motions. She just said, “What are you doing? Keep your hands on the wheel!” Then I passed a car and that Casanova car had to fall back, but a minute later they pulled up next to her again. Her new friend made more faces and gestures at her (nothing crude), and she just couldn’t stop laughing. The third time it happened, she pointed to her engagement ring, and he made a, “Okay, I’ll back off!” gesture and pulled away.
It was maybe the highlight of the drive home. Maybe not, actually, when I think about it. But it was a nice little few minutes.
But here’s my question: What was he trying to achieve? What would be the ideal outcome of that scenario for him? Was she supposed to scribble her number on a piece of paper? Gesture for them to get off at the next exit so we could all hang out? Take her top off? I mean, I know it’s just having some fun, but really, what did he want from her?
How can life have gotten so away from me? Here are the things I intended to write about this week:
Sunday
I worked at our New Works Festival, which was awesome – I watched 2 shows and then the Meet the Artists panel, and there was a food truck there, serving up delicious Asian tacos! Could my day get any better? Yes it can! Because late Sunday night I picked up Megan at the airport!
Monday
Megan’s dress fitting in San Francisco! So fun. Then Drew and I hit Costco and I picked up my brand new card.
Also of note, today, while waiting at a stoplight, I heard a giant crash. The light turned green and I pulled away, looked in the rearview mirror and saw the car right behind me pulling over. I’m pretty sure someone rear-ended them. I was so grateful it wasn’t me.
Tuesday
Sam and I went to a yoga class. We spent the first 10 minutes sitting criss cross applesauce while the instructor had us “feel the universe” and read us the longest Carl Sagan quote ever. Then we did 45 minutes of yoga. Then we laid on the ground in corpse pose, but with our limbs flailed out to more fully “embrace the universe,” while she reread the longest Carl Sagan quote ever. I like the parts of yoga where you move through fluid stretches. But I don’t like all the politics that comes with us.
Also, most exercise classes make me feel all strong and healthy. Yoga makes me feel roly-poly and incompetent. Plus, I can’t help but notice all the long, lean people around me. (Including the 7-months pregnant woman in the front row.)
Wednesday
Jonathan and I went to Google for a seminar on using Google Apps for businesses. Then we had a brief tour of the campus with a friend of his who works there. Did you know that food there is free? We had frozen yogurt and sandwiches. Also, they have a slide, cool art everywhere, and one of those treadmill swimming pools. Also, I couldn’t take many pictures because it’s not really allowed. But I did make this Google Doodle on a little artsy kiosk.
Google was kinda amazing. I have never really wanted to work there, but after seeing the campus, which is really very college-y, but with a side of cutting edge and more responsibility…I so want to work there. I’m not sure how anyone ever gets anything done. Not when you can go to breakdance class or take a walk outside or go have the deli people make you yet another sandwich!
But I just keep telling myself, I have nothing to offer Google. They are not looking for someone with my skills. Better to just visit people who work on the campus, than keep hoping to somehow get a job there.
They say that the reason they provide so much on campus (and I love that it is called “the campus”), is so that their employees never have to leave, and can work 80-hour weeks. Well, if I was single and career-minded, I would totally love to devote 12 hours of my day to Google.
Yesterday I finally attended my first spin class. This is what I said to my co-workers as I was leaving work to head to the gym:
“It sounds fun! I mean it can’t be that hard, right?”
At least I sort of knew at the time I was going to have to eat those words later – but I did think, how hard can biking be? It’s just biking. It’s not like I have to jump around waving weights around my head. It’s just legs.
Well, I was wrong. It’s not just legs. And it is hard.
Here are some hints, if you’re thinking of attempting this for the first time:
1. The seat is not comfortable. This is probably because you’re supposed to be up off of it for most of the class. If, like me, you sat out some of the standing-up sections, be prepared for a slightly sore behind the next day. (I ended up wadding up my towel and awkwardly stuffing it underneath myself at one point. It helped, moderately.)
2. When you sit on the bike for the first time, and it spins really easily, and you’re like, “This is awesome”? Look down. That little knob puts more tension on. You’ll spend most of the class with it tightened. Get ready. Enjoy the no-tension while you can.
3. An hour of watching Law & Order flies by. An hour of spin, not so much. At some point (for me it was 10 minutes in), you’ll start to think the clock might be broken. It’s not.
4. Related to #3, the first half hour is a lot slower than the second half hour. Stick it out.
5. When your badass intructor says, “Remember, everyone can go at their own pace at any time,” he may be talking to you. You’re allowed to ease off on the tension if you’re dying, and as long as you’re still pushing yourself, you’re still good.
6. It seems to me that this is the kind of thing where you show fast improvement, especially at the beginning. I found the standing up portions difficult in the first half hour, but much easier in the second half hour. I’m excited for my next class, to see how much easier the entire thing will be. (#WishfulThinking?)
7. If you find yourself plotting ways to get out of the room before the hour is up (my best plan was to fake losing a contact, then scoop up my keys and bolt for the door), just stare at the tramp stamp on the girl in front of you and keep going. You can do it!
The Cameraphone Diaries 