Stream of awkwardness

Omg, omg, the overly friendly guy who sits next to me at work (I sit upstairs with the telemarketers) just told me that when I take my lunch, he brought a suit for me to try on.  It apparently belonged to his fashion-forward cousin who just had – get this – gastric bypass surgery.  When he told me about this last week, he asked if I was offended and I said “Um, I’m not really offended I guess, but I gotta be honest, that’s weird.”  I thought that would be the end of it but apparently not.  Can I sneak out of here without saying anything?  I like this computer (they just gave me a new one and everything) and I like sitting here, is this guy gonna ruin it for me?  He’s always been, like, too friendly: I don’t even know how many times he told me I “don’t need to wear makeup like some women” and that I “shouldn’t feel like I need to go to the gym” to change myself…oh, but that I can go if I want.  But all these compliments are a little bit negated by the offer of pre-gastric-bypass-surgery clothes.  Am I right?

My phone just died so I can’t even send out texts or update my Facebook status about this awkwardness.  Omg.

Update: He slid the Macys bag over to me at some point and said “Just try it on, and then if you like it, no pressure, but if anyone asks, one of your lady friends downstairs gave it to you.”  I peeked in the bag and it was a pile of wool with a houndstooth pattern, and I started thinking, How cute would I look in houndstooth in the winter?  In my little skirt suit?  When he left his desk for a minute I pulled the skirt out of the bag and held it up, and it was (according to the tag) an entire 3 or 4 sizes too big for me.  Which made it not worth it anymore.

Last week when he first brought up this subject, he was telling me his cousin used to be “the same size” as me, “Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.”  Um, apparently you don’t because you overshot by quite a bit.