In Whole Foods the other day I was standing in front of the chocolate section, trying to decide what was the closest to a plain old Kit Kat. (Why only fancy chocolate, Whole Foods? Why only special brands? That’s your major flaw. Sometimes I just want Yoplait or Diet Coke or M’n’Ms.) A woman with flyaway gray hair came up behind me, carrying a reusable grocery bag with a cat on it, and, while selecting fruit leather, said, “Where’s Jam.”
At least that’s what I thought she said. But maybe she was asking for Jim. So I ignored her. Until she looked right at me and said, “Where’s jam. Do you work here?”
“I don’t work here.”
“Oh. They wear dark colors here.” I was wearing all black, having just run over from tech. (Wearing all black in a not-well-lit intersection also caused me to be almost hit by not one but two cars. But that’s another story.) I didn’t have an answer for her. I guess I could have said, “They also wear green aprons.”
Then I reached for a bar of dark chocolate with candied orange, and she asked, “Is that your normal brand? Chocolove?” I guess she was trying to show we were just friends. Eye roll.
I said “No” politely and then hightailed it for the checkout lane. I think she stayed behind to look over the 2011 “Bohemian Cats” calendar with all the cats doing needlepoint and stuff.
I feel like this happens to me a lot. I am constantly getting asked where things are. Not even, “Do you work here?” Just straight up, “Where’s the conditioner?” When I know where the thing is, I’ll just tell them. This happens at Target, at Trader Joe’s, at Whole Foods. Maybe I just look competent.
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3 replies on “Whole Awkward”
“Ah,” the cat-woman said to herself, “Now there is a competent-looking person who will surely know where the jam is!”
Strangely enough, I used to have that same experience in Safeway. I’d stop in to pick up an item or two, and people would stop me in the aisle to ask where something was located. I assumed it was because I was a middle-aged man without a shopping cart, and therefor easily mistaken for Middle-management, roaming the aisles in order to be helpful. I like the “competent-looking” explanation, though – let’s go with that.
I was thinking that it could be that I rarely get a shopping cart or basket…
Or maybe it’s a genetic thing??
i get asked where things are every time i wear red in a target.
once a customer asked me where the car fresheners were. i decided to help by using the courtesy phone to ask where they were. i then walked the customer over the car fresheners. the customer looks at me and goes, “shouldn’t employees here know where stuff is without calling somebody?”.
“i just felt like showing you how the courtesy phones work. by the way, i don’t work here”.
then i turned and strolled away.